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Shatner Rules

Shatner Rules

Titel: Shatner Rules
Autoren: William Shatner
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    Published by Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
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    Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.); Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England; Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd); Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd); Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi–110 017, India; Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd); Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa
    Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
    Published by Dutton, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
    First printing, October 2011
    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
    Copyright © 2011 by William Shatner
    Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Paul Matvienko-Sikar
    All rights reserved
    Shatner, William.
    Shatner rules : your guide to understanding the Shatnerverse and the world at large / William Shatner.
    p. cm.
    ISBN 9781101547984
    1. Shatner, William. 2. Actors—Canada—Biography. 3. Shatner, William—Humor. I. Title.
    PN2308.S52A3 2011
    Designed by Alissa Amell
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I’ve gotten to the age where I am counting every precious minute, so although none of us knows what is going to happen next, the dice are loaded for me having less time than more. So it seems that I should give a giant shout-out to everything meaningful in my life, ’cause you never know when you are going to get another shout-out. So to my wife, my daughters, my grandchildren, my dogs, my horses, and my friends, I hope I see you all tomorrow. And I’d also like to give a shout-out to Chris Regan, who is a terrific guy, a wonderful writer, and a new friend.

It’s Shatner’s universe. We just live in it.

* RULE: Always Take Shatner’s Word for It, Even If You Suspect He’s Lying


RULE: Start Every Book with an Introduction
    I , William Shatner, am now eighty years of age, and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my late mother’s eighty-fourth birthday.
    Actually, I’m not really thinking of the
date of her birthday as much as I am thinking about the
of her eighty-fourth birthday. It was observed many times in her eighty-fourth year.
    We were in a restaurant—me, my two sisters, our respective spouses, and Mother Shatner, who was beaming from ear to ear. Why was she a-beam? Well, a retinue of handsome waiters surrounded her, bellow-singing “Happy Birthday” as only struggling young actors can. A small slice of cake sat in front of her, its sole candle missing its eighty-three siblings, waiting to be blown out by the happy old lady.
    And while Mother Shatner and the waiters smiled, her children and assorted family members scowled.
    Well, it was not my mother’s eighty-fourth birthday.
    That event had passed a few months previous. And once again, my family was mortified by my
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