Mind Over Matter

down on the bed as she had as a child. “We should both be fuzzy-headed. It’s better than being nervous.”
    Clarissa smiled beautifully. “I’m not nervous.” A.J. sent the cork cannoning to the ceiling. “Brides have to be nervous. I’m nervous and all I have to do is watch.”
    “Aurora.” Clarissa took the glass she offered, then sat on the bed beside her. “You should stop worrying about me.”
    “I can’t.” A.J. leaned over to kiss one cheek, then the other. “I love you.”
    Clarissa took her hand and held it tightly. “You’ve always been a pleasure to me. Not once, not once in your entire life, have you brought me anything but happiness.”
    “That’s all I want for you.”
    “I know. And it’s all I want for you.” She loosened her grip on A.J.’s hand but continued to hold it. “Talk to me.”
    A.J. didn’t need specifics to understand her mother meant David. She set down her untouched champagne and started to rise. “We don’t have time. You need to—”
    “You’ve had an argument. You hurt.”
    With a long, hopeless sigh, A.J. sank back down on the bed. “I knew I would from the beginning. I had my eyes open.”
    “Did you?” With a shake of her head, Clarissa set her glass beside A.J.’s so she could take both her hands. “Why is it you have such a difficult time accepting affection from anyone but me? Am I responsible for that?”
    “No. No, it’s just the way things are. In any case, David and I… We simply had a very intense physical affair that burned itself out.”
    Clarissa thought of what she had seen, what she had felt, and nearly sighed. “But you’re in love with him.”
    With anyone else, she could have denied. With anyone else, she could have lied and perhaps have been believed. “That’s my problem, isn’t it? And I’m dealing with it,” she added quickly, before she was tempted into self-pity again. “Today of all days we shouldn’t be talking about anything but lovely things.”
    “Today of all days I want to see my daughter happy. How do you think he feels about you?”
    It never paid to forget how quietly stubborn Clarissa could be. “He was attracted. I think he was a little intrigued because I wasn’t immediately compliant, and in business we stood toe-to-toe.”
    Clarissa hadn’t forgotten how successfully evasive her daughter could be. “I asked you how you think he feels.”
    “I don’t know.” A.J. dragged a hand through her hair and rose. “He wants me—or wanted me. We match very well in bed. And then I’m not sure. He seemed to want more—to get inside my head.”
    “And you don’t care for that.”
    “I don’t like being examined.”
    Clarissa watched her daughter pace back and forth in her quick, nervous gait. So much emotion bottled up, she thought.Why couldn’t she understand she’d only truly feel it when she let it go? “Are you so sure that’s what he was doing?”
    “I’m not sure of anything, but I know that David is a very logical sort of man. The kind who does meticulous research into any subject that interests him.”
    “Did you ever consider that it was you who interested him, not your psychic abilities?”
    “I think he might have been interested in one and uneasy about the other.” She wished, even now, that she could be sure. “In any case, it’s done now. We both understood commitment was out of the question.”
    “Why?”
    “Because it wasn’t what he—what we,” she corrected herself quickly, “were looking for. We set the rules at the start.”
    “What did you argue about?”
    “He suggested we live together.”
    “Oh.” Clarissa paused a moment. She was old-fashioned enough to be anxious and wise enough to accept. “To some, a step like that is a form of commitment.”
    “No, it was more a matter of convenience.” Was that what hurt? she wondered. She hadn’t wanted to analyze it. “Anyway, I wanted to think it over and he got angry. Really angry.”
    “He’s hurt.” When A.J. glanced over, surprised protest on the tip of her tongue, Clarissa shook her head. “I know. You’ve managed to hurt each other deeply, with nothing more than pride.”
    That changed things. A.J. told herself it shouldn’t, but found herself weakening. “I didn’t want to hurt David. I only wanted—”
    “To protect yourself,” Clarissa finished. “Sometimes doing one can only lead to the other. When you love someone, really love them, you have to take some risks.”
    “You think I