Jane Actually

can directly ask, ‘Do you have an illegal copy of a book that’s about to be published?’ Not when you’re not even sure whom to ask. But …”
    “But what?”
    “I wasn’t joking earlier. Do you think you could look into the whole vetting process on your own? Maybe you can find some information I’ve missed. I really would like to know something, anything, about the proof she offered.”
    Stephen promised he’d see what he could find out, a little happy to be asked; a little worried he’d find nothing. Alice left him and went back to her office and decided she could try sending another email to Deirdre and try to divine any meaning from her maddening noncommittal denials.
    – AMES, IOWA –
    Ajala dipped her laptop screen down at the discreet knock on her door and saw her assistant standing there. “Ajala, you said to remind you about your ‘meeting.’” Becky made air quotes around the word.
    “What? Oh, I think I’ll have to skip it today.”
    That caused Becky to enter the office and sit down next to Ajala’s desk. “Really, because you said you really didn’t want to miss it this time.” Then Becky noticed Ajala’s expression. “Hey, is something the matter? You look upset.”
    Ajala looked at Becky and wondered what to say. She was both upset and unsettled. She had been unsettled since the announcement that Jane Austen had been recognized. It was similar to the feelings she had every time someone claimed to have found a portrait of Austen. She somehow didn’t like the idea of Jane being identified, especially if it conflicted with her own idealized conception of her.
    But all that took a back seat to what was really upsetting.
    “Everything’s ruined! Oh my God, they’ll have to start from scratch.”
    Becky was now truly alarmed. She’d never seen her boss like this. Ajala Johnsson was famously imperturbable. She managed her department with skill and grace and treated everyone fairly and kindly. Since she’d moved into the corner office, it was like living in a Golden Age, where all the peasants were happy and the dragons had been slain. She’d protected the department from cutbacks and reorganizations and …
    “Not layoffs?” Becky gasped.
    “What? Oh no, it’s nothing about work. It’s …” Ajala flipped her laptop screen up and swivelled it around to face Becky.
    Becky looked at the news story about some author … some disembodied author …
    “Oh, it’s your Jane Austen.” Becky looked around and saw her boss’s fetish displayed throughout the office as books and knickknacks and even a little Jane Austen action figure. She’d gotten used to the items, of course, but she couldn’t forget that Ajala was the president of a national Jane Austen organization. Ajala was scrupulous about not making Becky do any work related to … the coffee cup on her desk reminded her of the organization’s name … JASNA, but she still ended up taking messages and fielding phone calls for her boss.
    “Isn’t this good news? You finally get to read another of her books, right?”
    “No, you don’t understand,” Ajala said. “We have to invite her. We have to invite Jane Austen to the AGM! Everything’s going to be different!”
    – ARLINGTON, TEXAS –
    Cindy Wallace heard the other participants to the conference call hang up. The sound was like the slamming of a prison cell door.
    “Two years planning down the drain,” she said. “Two years down the drain.”
    Her husband chose this moment to walk into her office, having been curious why his wife had been on the phone the past two hours. He assumed it was something to do with the AGM; 5 it was always about the AGM and as he often did these days he regretted his bright idea to urge his wife to become the North Texas regional coordinator. He’d been a long-time Austen fan—not quite a Janeite—and had introduced Cindy to Jane Austen shortly after their marriage. She didn’t embrace Jane as much as he’d hoped but after their children left home she had seemed to find a new relevance in Austen. Her enthusiasm grew and grew as did his and they joined JASNA. They became quite well known for their fondness of wearing costumes and their several trips to England and the various Austen shrines of Chawton, Bath and Winchester. 6
    When the regional coordinator post became vacant he suggested she run for it, which she did and was elected. At that time, the AGM was still three years off, the North Texas region having secured