Jane Actually

the honour of hosting it under the leadership of the previous coordinator.
    Harry quickly learned, however, that hosting an AGM was a daunting undertaking. He hadn’t realized what he’d talked his wife into. She seemed to spend less and less time enjoying Jane Austen and more and more time talking to catering managers and airlines and local businesses and cranky authors and even crankier academics.
    “What’s up, hon?” he asked, getting a sinking feeling even as he asked it. He of course knew the recent news of Jane Austen and suspected it might have an effect on her planning.
    “Two years planning down the drain because Jane Austen’s coming to the AGM!”
    “But that’s a good thing!” He regretted saying it immediately.
    “It was supposed to be
200 Years of Sense and Sensibility
, and now all it’s going to be is the Second Coming of Jane. We’re going to have to scrap the whole program.”
    Harold knew his wife was no Mrs Bennet 7 and not given to hyperbole, but still he wondered at her reaction.
    “So who were you on the phone with?”
    “Everybody. Ajala Johnsson and Dick Wilson and Lorna White. Ajala just got a call from Jane Austen’s agent … can you believe it? Jane Austen’s agent! She wants to know if it would cause a bother if she attended the AGM? Ha! A bother!”
    – SOMERSET, ENGLAND –
    Courtney looked at the English countryside whizzing by the train, or rather the reverse, for the train was whizzing past the countryside. But to him, it certainly felt like it was the world that was whizzing past. He refreshed the Google news search on his laptop and saw another story about Jane Austen. “Chick lit author ready to ink sequel,” said the cheeky headline in a British tabloid, predicting a sequel to
Pride and Prejudice
even though the Austen claimant had repeatedly said it would never happen.
    He pulled his hand through his hair, destroying his carefully sculpted spiky hairstyle.
She can’t really be alive, I mean dead, I mean … you know what I mean
, he thought.
Could the timing be any worse?
    From the empty seat beside him, he picked up the mock-up of his book cover that he’d received last week. It showed a ghosted portrait of a model dressed in Regency costume superimposed over the oh-so-familiar silhouette of Jane Austen. The cover looked good, although the model seemed more endowed than he’d ever imagined the author.
    Oh damn, what’s she going to say about the cover. Will it flatter her or will she object? And how the hell does anyone know she’s really Jane Austen?
    The last question he’d asked himself time and again since he’d heard the news that Austen had managed to prove her identity.
    He looked at the mock-up and quietly read out loud the title:
The Real Jane Austen: Hidden Passions and Secret Desires
.
    He dropped his head and the older woman sitting on the opposite side of the aisle might have heard a small moan escape him. His ringing phone interrupted his self-pity.
    “Hello?”
    “Hey Courtney,” he heard his agent say. He winced at the use of his full name and wondered again why he couldn’t convince his own agent to call him Court.
    “Yeah, Dan, what’s up? I’m sorry I haven’t sent my thoughts on the mock up.” Courtney offered an apologetic shrug to the woman across the aisle. She returned to her perusal of a knitting magazine.
    “Oh, don’t worry about that. Listen, there’s been a change on the publication schedule.”
    “What? They can’t move it any closer. I still …” His voice rose and again he attracted the attention of Miss Marple. Courtney turned his head toward the window.
    “No, not closer, they want to delay it. But don’t worry, it’s good news.”
    “How can it be good news they want to delay the publication? And I already bought the tickets for the book tour.”
    “Don’t sweat it, Courtney. You can throw those tickets away. We now have a tour budget, paid for by the publisher. They want to time the release to whenever Austen publishes her book. Anything Austen is hot right now, so you’re sitting pretty. Can it get any better?”
    “Oh, no, I mean yeah, that’s great.”
    “And there’s a rumour going around that they want Jane Austen to be on a book tour, although I have no idea how they would manage it. Luckily I have a friend who might be able to leak me the itinerary when it comes time. Think about how great that would be for you? You could be signing your book right next to Jane Austen herself. I