Fifty Shades of Alice Through the Looking Glass (Second Book of the 50 Shades of Alice Trilogy)

and her private place open for all to see. She wore a silver tiara atop her platinum blond updo, and on the table in front of them, a chess board was spread, the pieces poised mid-game.
    Alice blinked her eyes, but when she opened them, the three were still there. “Are you—”
    “Two kings and a queen? Why yes, we are, dear,” the woman finished for her.
    Alice should have felt embarrassed, as any girl lying naked on the floor in front of strange royalty might. But her first thought beyond how in the world she’d fallen through the mirror, was how rare it was these days to see people playing that particular game.
    “Are you playing chess?” she asked.
    The kings glanced down at the chess board in front of them with confused expressions on their faces. “Of course not,” said the White King. “A chess game wouldn’t be all that interesting for a twenty-first century audience to read about. We were watching you masturbate through the mirror.”
    The Red King nodded. “I loved when you bent forward at the waist and your tits bucked with each stroke.” He brushed aside his robe to reveal his erect manhood folded in one fist.
    Even the White Queen nodded. “Yes dear, your tits are quite magnificent. Such perky nipples.”
    Alice rubbed her eyes. Surely she must be dreaming. She couldn’t have fallen through a mirror; that wasn’t even believable in fairytales. But when she opened her eyes once again, the kings and queen were still there, only the Red Queen had joined them. And dressed in red leather pants and matching bustier, she was frowning something awful.
    “The position you used was not approved,” she said.
    Alice had no earthly idea what the queen was talking about. “The position—”
    “You were leaning forward, showing off those jutting nipples and lush breasts of yours and plunging the vibrator in and out, in and out, in and out from behind. I’m afraid I can allow neither the leaning forward position nor the fantasy of men ogling your bare breasts through the looking glass.”
    Alice glanced at the kings, who now both had spread open their robes and were holding their stiff shafts in hand, ogling her bare breasts.
    “But that wasn’t a fantasy,” Alice explained. “The two kings really were watching me through the looking glass. They are watching me now.”
    “We all are, dear,” said the White Queen, and she slid a hand between her legs and began to stroke the glistening wetness there.
    The Red Queen shook her head severely. “I’m sorry. This won’t do. Only the ruling queen can decide which fantasies and positions are allowed on this side of the looking glass, and you’re not a queen at all.”
    Alice scrambled to her feet, feeling very embarrassed, not from the nudity and the staring and the masturbation, but from the realization that she’d offended a royal; quite a horrific prospect indeed.
    “I must apologize, Your Highness,” she said as she curtsied. “I didn’t mean to offend. Truly. I’m not familiar with the rules.”
    The Red Queen’s frown faltered, then slid from her lips, replaced by a satisfied bow of a smile.
    “Very well, then. I like a young woman who knows her place. I shall teach you the rules right now.”
    She picked a thick, leather bound volume from a bookshelf, carried it to the table, and plopped it open, scattering chess pieces far and wide.
    “Now here,” said the Red Queen, extending a long finger tipped with a ruby red nail, “are the acceptable positions.”
    Alice and the two kings and White Queen gathered around her and peered down at the book.
    “But your majesty,” Alice said. “There’s only one position here. The woman is lying down and the man is on top of her.”
    “The missionary position,” said the Red King, nodding his head sadly.
    Alice had heard of that name for it, and the position reminded her of the way she and Lewis used to make love before she’d learned many sexy lessons in Wonderland (now available exclusively for Kindle).
    “Is that the only position acceptable?” Alice asked.
    “There are others. Just look for yourself.”
    Alice did, slowly turning the pages of the book. On each page, the couple was in the same exact position, the woman on the bottom and the man on the top. Only in one picture, the woman was raising one arm. In another, she was raising two arms. In a third, the man and woman were both raising an arm and holding hands. The fourth depicted the woman and man each raising an opposite