Fall from Love

singer is up.
    “Bathroom!” I yell over the music, looking over at Jenna.
    “I’ll go get us another drink!” she yells back, bobbing her head to the music as she scoots out of the booth.
    After fighting my way through the crowds, I sigh when I see the line is overflowing out into the hall but I’m not sure why I thought it would be any different. This is how it always is at Sterling’s on open mic night. I take my place in line and lean back up against the wall, listening to the energetic girls in front of me. They are both tall, both have long, perfectly styled, blonde hair that hangs far below their shoulders, and both of them are beautiful. On a good night, a night when I actually tried to look good, I could’ve played in the same ballpark as them, but tonight I would have barely been considered for the B leagues.
    “Did you see the way Dean looked at me? I think he was undressing me with his eyes,” Barbie #1, on the left, gushes.
    Barbie #2 nods her head, way too many times. “Totally, you are so getting lucky with him tonight.”
    “Really, you think I should sleep with him?” Barbie #1 asks, biting her lip. I want to roll my eyes at her pitiful attempt to be clueless, but I refrain.
    “He’s hot, he’s in med school, and you’ve been on three dates,” her friend answers, but quickly follows up with, “but only if you’re ready.”
    Lord. If I ever had a friend that listed any of those three reasons for me to sleep with a guy, I’d likely kick her ass. Jenna would kick my ass if I wanted to sleep with a guy before dating him for at least six months, had met his parents, and had her approval. She flipped when she found out that I lost my virginity to Adam after almost eight months of dating. In the few years I’ve known her, she has always been very protective like that. Sometimes it can be annoying, but overall, I like knowing that she always has my back.
    Standing behind the two blondes started out mildly entertaining, but I don’t know how much more of it I can handle before losing valuable brain cells. The line moves forward a few steps, leaving only Barbie #1 and #2 before it’s my turn. Just a few more minutes, just a few more minutes , I chant to myself.
    “Holly?” I hear a guy’s voice call my name from a distance, but I ignore it, thinking that he must be talking to someone else.
    “Holly.” The voice is right beside me now and I realize that I recognize it. Even though I don’t want to and as hard as I squeeze my eyes shut, the memories come rushing in. My heart hammers as I turn my head to see the face that matches the voice from my memory. The same face I want to forget forever because it brings up too many horrible feelings from that night. He’s about a foot away from me and my head barely meets his shoulders. I don’t remember him being so tall, but I guess I didn’t really want to remember a lot from that night. The light from the hallway is directly above him, shining down on his sandy brown hair, casting a shadow across half of his face.
    “How are you?” Carter asks and seeing his sympathetic eyes makes my stomach turn, letting me know that this is real and not a dream. This isn’t something I can wake up from.
    “Fine,” I mutter, swallowing hard. It’s not that I’m fine, I just can’t think of anything else to say.
    “Do you have a minute to talk?” he asks and, for a moment, all I can do is stare at him.
    “Um… I’ve... I’ve gotta go,” I stutter, stepping out of the line and making my way back to the booth, back to Jenna. I want to leave and go home. I’m not strong enough to handle this. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this—that I could move on—but it’s clear to me now, I’m just not ready yet.
    “Jenna!” I shout when I find her swaying to the music.
    “Beer for my lovely date,” she yells over the music, handing me a fresh bottle.
    “I’m ready to leave,” I lean over and shout into her ear.
    “What? Why? I thought you were having a good time?” Her face falls more and more with each passing second.
    For a split second, it pains my heart to see her looking at me like this, but then I’m quickly reminded of who is standing right behind me. I can feel him there. “I’ve had a good time, but I’m ready to leave now.”
    Then her eyes shift from my face to someone standing on my left. “Oh, shit.” She looks back at me, her eyes wide and wearing a pained look on her face. “Okay, we can