Fall from Love

collapse down on the couch, grab the blanket that’s laying on top of it and pull it up to my chin.
    “How about we have a girl’s night in then?” She knows she’s losing me and the desperation in her voice is starting to sound like whining. “We could order Chinese, watch some movies, and talk.”
    I know what she’s trying to do. She doesn’t want to eat Chinese or watch movies and she doesn’t just want us to talk, she wants me to talk. Why couldn’t she just leave me alone?
    “No, you go and have fun.” I turn on the TV, getting more comfortable on the couch. It’s not that I have a favorite show to catch up on or anything, I just like the noise… anything to drown out the silence.
    “But I won’t have fun if I know you’re here being miserable. Please, you’ll have fun, I promise.”
    I sigh, realizing that she isn’t going to give up easily tonight. I blink away from the T.V. and look over at her. Again, I wait for the guilt to hit me. I wait for my heart to feel bad at the way I’m treating her, but nothing comes. Without saying a word, I look back towards the T.V. and begin to flip through the channels, thinking that maybe if I just ignore her, she’ll go away.
    “Holly, c’mon.”
    I don’t answer or look at her again. After a few seconds of silence, I can feel the tension between us build.
    “So you’re just going to ignore me?”
    I can sense the irritation in her voice, but it’s still not enough to get me to respond.
    “So, this is what it’s come to, then?” The tone in her voice has escalated to the next level. We have had this same argument before and I know that an explosion is just around the corner. Then, she will storm off and leave me alone. Finally .
    “Fine, I tried. And just so you know, I love you more than anything, but I don’t know how much more of this I can stand. It’s been months and you’re still shutting me out. You’re shutting everyone out. I want to be here for you, but you have to let me!”
    Even after her little rant is over, I still don’t look at her because, deep down, what she says is the truth, but it hurts too much to be any other way. Shutting everyone out is the easiest way.
    I can see her out of the corner of my eye, throwing her hands up in the air. “Is this what you want... to push away the only friend who still gives two shits about you… then fine, you win. I give up.” She turns around, grabs her purse, and leaves, slamming the door shut behind her. A dramatic exit… typical.
    Even though that may have been the angriest I’ve ever seen her, it’s still not enough to get me up and running after her. I continue to stare at the T.V., totally numb to what has just taken place. The old me would have run out after her if something like this had happened. Now, my heart is numb to just about everything, and nothing seems to faze me.
    About a minute passes and the front door swings open again and Jenna comes back through it with the same urgency that she left with. Maybe she forgot her bitch pills , I think to myself.
    “Nope. Not gonna do it. Not gonna let you shut me out. Get your ass off that couch and into the shower. Wash off that three day old nastiness, style that beautiful brown hair of yours, put on that copper eye shadow that plays up your killer green eyes, and put on one of those hot outfits you used to wear that made every guy drool and every girl jealous you were born!” She finishes her outburst, exhales loudly, and points towards my bathroom.
    I stare at her, but I don’t answer. It’s not that I’m trying to ignore her; I think my silence is more from shock of what she just said and the look in her eyes when she said it.
    She takes a step forward. “So help me God, Holly Ann Treadwell. I’m taking you out tonight if I have to drag you into that shower myself.”
    I flinch at her words. The look in her eyes is beginning to scare me. I swallow hard and truly believe that if I don’t get off the couch and into the shower, that this argument—or whatever it is we’re having—will escalate to the physical level. Jenna is a few inches shorter than me and to most people she may have even looked weak—easily breakable by her tiny frame—but I know better. Not that we have ever been in any type of physical altercation before, but I know if it were to come to that, she could take me, hands down. Never in the three years that I’ve known her, has she ever talked to me like this. Never has she looked at me with