Fall from Love

such a fury in her eyes… and never have I ever been scared of her like I am now. Slowly, without another word spoken between us, I get up, walk right past her and into the bathroom.
     
    ❧
     
    It takes me an hour to get ready. I shower, dry my hair, and put on a minimal amount of makeup. It takes me trying on five different outfits before I finally find one that I’m comfortable with. My attire for the past three months has been nothing more than sweatpants and t-shirts so there is no way I can go back to one of the hot outfits Jenna requested.
    When I finally emerge, her back is facing me and she’s twirling a piece of her long auburn hair. After turning around, she smiles at me, seemingly pleased with my choice of jeans, cream turtleneck, and brown leather, knee-high boots.
    “You look beautiful,” she says.
    “Thanks.” The right side of my mouth lifts, threatening a smile. “Just so you know, you’re going down as the worst best friend in the history of best friends and you’re a bitch,” I tell her, only half joking.
    She half gasps, half laughs. “Damn, is that a sign of the old Holly coming through? You made a joke, called me a bitch, and actually put some feeling behind it.” Her sarcastic demeanor makes my half smile turn into a full one.
    She gasps again, but this time she grabs her chest in a dramatic fashion. “Oh, my God. It’s a smile. An actual smile. Not one of those cutesy, bullshit, fake smiles you’ve been giving me lately. No, that was a true, genuine smile. You know, I think that I’m gonna have to be a bitch more often if this is the reaction I get for yelling at you and treating you like crap, expect more of it.”
    My eyes narrow and I give her a playful scowl. “Don’t push it.”
    She wraps her arms around me, squeezing me tight. “It’s good to have a piece of you back, Holls.”
     
    ❧
     
    We pull up to Sterling’s and I take a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for my first night out in months. On the outside the building looks the same, but I already know that the inside will feel different. He won’t be there, holding me in his arms, telling me how beautiful I look or how good my skin smells. He won’t be there, kissing me good luck before I get on stage. And, he won’t be there, telling me how amazing my voice sounds after I get off stage.
    “Hey, if things get too heavy, or you’re not having a good time, we’re out, okay?” Jenna assures, putting the car in park.
    “Okay.” I take another deep breath in and blow it out, trying to calm my nerves.
    We walk in and the music that’s bouncing off the walls consumes me. The large, dimly lit room still looks the same; it’s as if nothing has changed. My eyes reach over to the right and I scan the bar that’s basked in different colors from the neon signs hanging on the wall behind it. Jenna turns to smile at me and my heart feels like it’s going to explode through my chest as we squeeze our way through the crowds. I see a few familiar faces and most of them stare at me with wide eyes and mouths agape. With each step I take, I realize that coming here was a mistake and I’m not ready to handle this—the people, the emotions, the memories of happy times. So many images swirl around in my mind and I try to block them out and concentrate on something else—anything else. Music, Holly. Just listen to the music.
    “Holly?!” I hear a shrill voice call my name and I turn around, hoping it’s not Becca. I just don’t think I can deal with her right now. “Oh, my gosh, it’s really you. It’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you so much.” Becca hugs me hard, but my arms hang limp at my sides. “You look awesome, by the way. Have you done something with your hair?” Her gaze drifts over my hair before meeting my eyes. “It looks… I don’t know, darker or something,” she says. Her high pitched tone hasn’t changed one bit. It’s still the same one that could easily be mistaken for a ten-year-old girl getting a puppy for her birthday.
    “No, I haven’t done anything to it,” I say, my voice flat.
    “Gosh, I’ve missed you all summer.”
    “Yeah, um, I’ve just been busy.”
    “Can you believe that school’s already starting back again? Summer went by way too fast. Come sit over here by me. We have so much to catch up on.” She grabs my arm and begins to pull me away from Jenna.
    Before I even have a chance to protest, a hard tug pulls me back in the opposite direction.