Coda 05 -Paris a to Z

be gracious when I do.”
“Angelos never known his dad,” I told him. “He left before he was born. His mom left, too, when he was little. He grew up in foster homes.” I wondered briefly if I should be telling him these things, but it helped explain why Angelo and Cole seemed to be kindred spirits, and it helped keep my mind off of other things. “She just got back in touch with him again a couple of years ago. He tries to keep an open mind, but he hasnt really forgiven her yet.” Lizzy had invited Neta to Christmas the year before without telling Angelo. Shed probably envisioned tearful forgiveness in front of the tree on Christmas morning. It hadnt happened. Although Angelo had handled the incident better than I might have expected, it was quite clear he wasnt ready to let twenty years of abandonment go. And it sure hadnt endeared Lizzy to him any either.
Jon looked ahead to where Cole and Angelo stood side by side, their heads tipped together as they discussed the painting they stood in front of. “Do you find it strange that weve ended up with men who are so much alike?” Jon asked, looking over at me. It was something that had occurred to me, too, but I was surprised he would say anything. It was a question

    that seemed to step dangerously close to that empty place inside us both— the place that had been us . “I think,” he went on shakily, “it explains a lot.”
His eyes on mine were nervous, and seemed to be begging me for some kind of explanation. I turned away without giving him an answer. It wasnt that I had none to give. It was simply that I was too much of a coward.
    A FTER a few hours in the Louvre, I was lost and completely overwhelmed. Everything became jumbled, one painting blurring into the next. Even the Mona Lisa was a bit of a disappointment. I was relieved when the day was finally over.
    Dinner that night was a lot of fun. Unlike restaurants back home, the wait staff didnt rush to bring us our drinks or our food. In fact, they didnt rush to do anything. They also didnt shove the check under anybodys nose the minute they brought dessert. It seemed to be expected that we would linger for hours, and we did.
    Cole seemed to feel it was easier to simply order for us, and we had plates and plates of food filling our table. We had both red and white wine.
“I picked a Spanish Gran Reserva for you, Zach,” Cole said. “I know Jonny likes Chianti, but Im sure he can make do.” I found it strange that he knew my favorite wine, and when I looked at Jon, I could see that it embarrassed him. But it sure didnt stop me from drinking the wine.
“This food is amazing,” Matt said, and everybody agreed. Everybody except Jon.
“This is nothing,” he said, smiling at Cole. “We should make Cole cook some night. His cookings even better.”
Cole grinned at him. “You say that every time,” he said, but I could tell he was pleased.
Matt surprised me by getting a bit more drunk than he normally did. He was usually so reserved and in control, but when he was drunk, he was looser. He laughed more. And he let himself touch Jared more. One minute he was talking football with George, and the next thing I knew he

    had a handful of Jareds hair and was whispering something into his ear. Next to him, George looked absolutely stunned. He looked over at Jon in surprise.
“You spent the whole day with them,” Jon said in amusement. “You never figured it out.”
“I thought they were friends,” George said.
“We are,” Jared said. “Were just friends who spend a lot of time together naked.” Matt laughed, although he still had his lips on Jareds neck. One of his hands moved to Jareds thigh. He pulled Jareds hair harder and said something else in his ear. Jareds eyes actually drifted shut, and his cheeks started to turn red.
“My goodness, doll,” Cole said, “youre making him blush!”
Matt pulled away from Jared, and although his cheeks were a bit red, he met Coles gaze with a mocking smile. “Are you talking to me?” he asked in a perfect Robert DeNiro impression.
“Who else would I be talking to?”
“Angelo.”
Angelos eyebrows went up in surprise, as did Coles. “Angelos not the one climbing into Jareds lap at the dinner table,” Cole said.
“I know,” Matt said, “but you said „doll, which is Angelo.” He grinned wickedly at Cole. “Im buttercup, remember?”
For a moment, Cole was actually speechless, something I suspected didnt happen very often. His mouth was open,