Private 02 - Private Paradise

have to leave me in the lurch and make me look bad to the investors too, just because I called you on your bullshit.”
    Sam gave a harsh laugh, his face tight with derision. “Of course you would think that. You know, I somehow got it in my head that you were putting up a front, trying to protect yourself. Stupid idiot, now I finally get it. You really do think I'm still a worthless asshole who would screw you over and never look back. You don't get it, Carla, and you never will. I'm not that guy any more. I would never do anything to hurt you, no matter how shitty you treat me.”
    He started to brush past her.
    “ Wait, what do you mean?” Carla stopped him with her hand on his arm, and felt it like punch to the gut when he snatched his arm away as though he couldn't bear her touch.
    “ After I left your place, I spent most of last night on the phone with a buddy of mine who works with my old firm who's willing to make a six month commitment. I already cleared it with Chris.”
    Carla felt like the earth was shifting under her feet. “But the board―”
    “ He's got all the same qualifications and two more years experience than I do. Your board is going to cream their panties over him.”
    “ You can't just expect me to swap you out like a fork, hire this person sight unseen. I don't even know him, how he'll be to work with―”
    “ He's not me,” Sam said grimly. “Isn't that all that matters?”
    He pushed past her again and this time she let him. She watched, frozen, as he went inside and said something to Chris. A few moments later he walked out again, not bothering to spare her a glance as he walked purposefully toward the main building.
    Common sense told her this was a good thing. Having Sam out of the picture now rather than later would drastically reduce the damage he would do to her heart. Right now it was just a little bruised. But she knew if he stayed she'd never be able to resist him. Never be able to stop herself form falling headlong into love.
    And when he inevitably moved on, she would be annihilated.
    Yet the prospect of him leaving, the idea that she'd probably never see him again, created a tight, panicky feeling in her chest. Like her life was about to careen horribly off course if she didn't do something about it.
    Her head told her to let him go. But her feet were moving of their own accord, taking her to the main building and down the hall until she found herself at Sam's office door. Inside, she heard muffled thumps and the occasional curse.
    He was packing up to leave. She should let him.
    Even as she had the thought, her hand was twisting the knob and pushing the door open. He looked up and met her gaze for only a split second, but it was long enough for her to see something in his eyes that made her breath catch in her throat.
    Pain. Soul deep, the kind you never truly recover from. Carla recognized it easily. She'd seen it in her own face in the days and months after Sam had tossed her aside.
    She peered at Sam's face, the hard, neutral expression, and told herself she must have imagined it.
    “ Do you mind?” he snapped. “I need to finish packing and write up a list of protocols for my replacement and I'd rather not do it with you staring at me like I'm some zoo animal.”
    Carla stepped over the threshold. “I don't get why you're so upset, why you think you have to leave―”
    Sam froze in the act of slipping a paper into a file folder. “You don't get it?”
    One second she was standing just inside the door, and the next Sam had her pinned against the wall, her feet dangling several inches from the floor as he pulled her up to his eye level. She recoiled from the anger in his face but there was nowhere to go.
    “ I told you I love you and you laughed in my face!” Sam yelled. The pain in his eyes was back, and this time he did nothing to hide it. Carla felt it burrowing inside her chest, squeezing around her heart until it hurt to even breathe.
    “ I―”
    Sam cut her off. “You accuse me of using lines to get women into bed, and you're right. I've told a lot of women a lot of things. But I've never, ever told a woman I love her. Until you.”
    “ You can't mean it. How can you mean it?”
    Sam released his hold on her and she slid to the floor. He pushed away from her and let out a strangled sound. “I know deserve this, after the way I treated you . After the things I've done, after the way I treated you, it serves me right that the first time I hang my