Love Means No Shame - Andrew Grey

gets better. I still miss him, and I probably always will. Each morning when I wake up, I forget he’s gone for about thirty seconds, then I remember.” Geoff looked into those eyes that had watched him ride his first horse, watched his baseball games, and watched over him when he was sick, and realized just how lucky he was. Getting up from his chair, he walked to Len and hugged him. “I love you, Dad.”
    “Dad?”

    “Yeah, I think it’s time I stopped calling you Len. You’re my father, as much as he was, so I’m going to call you Dad.” Geoff watched as Len wiped his eyes. “I’m one of the lucky ones; I’ve got two.”

    The two men hugged each other for a while, both of them sniffling softly as they shared their loss.
    Then Len pulled away and wiped his eyes for a final time. “I think we both need to stop, or we’ll start screaming hysterically like Sally Field. ‘I wanna know why?’” Both Geoff and Len started to laugh at Len’s near perfect imitation. When they’d gotten control of themselves again, they went to work, and Geoff had to admit he felt better.
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    GEOFF and Kirk flew across the pasture, the speed and the feeling of being one with the horse clearing out the morning cobwebs. He didn’t let himself reminisce about how much he missed his morning rides with Eli. He couldn’t. Pushing his hurt aside was the only way he could get through the day. The nights… oh, the nights were another matter all together.
    Geoff reined in his horse and yawned. He hadn’t been sleeping very well. Every night, as soon as he fell asleep, he’d dream of Eli and wake up incredibly disappointed. Two nights ago, he’d dreamed that Eli had come back. The details of his dream had been so vivid, so realistic, that when he woke and Eli wasn’t there, it felt like he’d lost him all over again.
    “Sorry, boy. I guess I haven’t been good company lately.” The horse’s head bobbed as though he was agreeing with him. Geoff patted Kirk’s neck, “You didn’t have to agree with me; you could have lied.” Kirk chose that moment to turn his head to look at him with one of those huge brown eyes. “Okay, okay, let’s head back.” Geoff turned them around and urged Kirk into a trot. “Jesus, I’m 192
Love Means … NO SHAME
    carrying on a conversation with a horse.” Geoff smirked as they trotted back toward the barn.
In the yard, he dismounted and walked the horse into his stall.
    After unsaddling, he turned him out into his paddock. Outside, he stopped and watched the colt running and frolicking as his mother stood watching. Princess ambled over to Geoff, and he fed her a few carrots and petted her nose.

    With a sigh, he turned and walked to the house, seeing his Aunt Mari’s car parked in the drive. Out of habit, he checked his watch. Something must be wrong—it wasn’t even eight. Aunt Mari may have grown up on a farm, but she was rarely up before nine on a weekend.
    The door slammed behind him as he walked into the kitchen,
“What brings you here so ear—?” Geoff stopped short as Eli’s blue eyes looked back at him.
His aunt smiled. “I picked up a hitchhiker as I was going into town.” Geoff heard her voice, but his vision narrowed to only Eli. Mari and Len stood up, and Geoff was vaguely aware of them leaving the room.
Geoff’s heart leapt, but he tamped it down. “Are you just visiting or here to stay?” Having Eli return definitely fit in the too-good-to-be-true category.
    Eli’s eyes showed insecurity and worry. “If you’ll have me. I mean, I’d like to stay, but if you don’t want me that way, I’ll understand. But if nothing else, I need a job.”
    “If I’ll have you?” Geoff’s feet moved with a mind of their own. “ If I’ll have you ?” Then he was right there, pulling Eli into his arms, holding him tight. “I’m never letting you go again.” Geoff’s lips crashed onto Eli’s, holding him tight, his hand carding through dark hair, increasing the pressure on their lips.
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    “Geoff, I’m….” Mari’s voice trailed off, but Geoff barely heard her and didn’t stop their kissing. His entire being was glued to Eli, the feel of his body next to his, the soft silky hair against his fingers. The taste of his lips, the scent of his skin, the small moans all combined to fill his senses, and right now there was no room for anything else. The house could burn down around them, and Geoff would hardly notice. Eli was there in