Devils Roses 01 - Cursed

didn’t know what to say, I wanted to run. I wanted to run away from her. She was proof, I was a monster. I felt the forest spinning around me, as I looked for an escape or a solution.
    “ What am I?” I panicked. I could feel my breath getting out of control.
    “ You’re an immortal now. Every immortal has a specific need. It’s how we survive. Vampires need blood, lycanthropes need raw flesh, succubi need human emotions, and we need souls, or rather, the separation of the soul. We feed on the tearing that occurs when the soul is set free.”
    I frowned at him. “What are we?”
    He smiled. “Death Deities, Sin Eater, Grim Reaper, Black Angel of Death. You choose. Either way, your touch does tend to finalize everything in one's life.”
    I shook my head. “Death Deities, no that’s a myth. That’s mythology.”
    I looked down at the dead girl and knew that what he had said was true. I was what he had said. I looked at my hands. They were long and slender, but nothing about them looked out of the ordinary. They were my mom's hands. I'd always loved that. I shivered imagining my mom looking down on me comparing our hands. Hers had never been as dirty as mine were.
    I dropped to my knees, astonished at how much I could hate myself, Dorian, and Aleks, all at once.
    “ This is the fate I chose instead of death, instead of my one single death, I'll survive by doling out death, like I was God? Like I have any right to choose for others? How could you not tell me? How could Aleks not tell me?”
    My words felt as if they belonged to another. My voice sounded too hollow to be mine.
    Dorian ignored me. He looked at his cell phone, as if I were keeping him from something pressing. Something besides the death and burial of a girl. I knew, that to him, this was one useless girl. I shuddered as I looked at her. I wondered if he had used his mind tricks to do terrible things to her first.
    I couldn’t reason with myself. I was death and that was a fate I was going to have to find a way to work around. “You've made me into Death, I'm Death. Will I kill everything I touch?”
    He shook his head and sighed impatiently. “No, you have to learn to shut it off and on. You have to learn to control it.” He kicked the girl on the ground, not respecting her limp dead body. “This is because you were too hungry. If you let it get too far, your hunger will take over. You will feed, Aimee, we always feed. If you don’t get too hungry, you can be picky. You can choose the evil or sick.”
    “ Don’t touch her.” I shrieked at him and picked the dead girl up off of the forest floor.
    I held her like she was my sister, my kin. If she were my family, I would want something else for her, beyond some disgusting demon kicking her corpse in the woods. She was still warm in my hands. I didn’t know what to do with her. I smelled in the air for the ocean and started to run toward the smell of the salt. I had never seen a dead body before, let alone held one in my arms. I wanted to hug her and cry and tell her everything would be okay, even when it wouldn’t. It would never be okay; I had taken her life.
    I ran as fast as I could, which apparently was pretty fast. I saw the ocean through the trees and ran down to the beach. I looked both ways to ensure no one saw me carrying a dead girl out into the open waters. I felt the cold ocean water hit me like a refreshing wave. The cold didn’t hurt, like it should have. I swam out into the chuck holding her hand. I swam as hard as I could, until I reached a good distance from the beach. I was amazed at how quickly I could swim. I let all of my breath out and grabbed the dead girl's hand. I sank like a stone down into the cool ocean water.
    The seawater didn’t bother my open eyes. I watched seaweed and small fish pass by us, as we sank into the dark. When I reached the bottom of the sea floor, I found a big rock. I pinned her under the rock, trying desperately not to think about what I was doing. I left her there in her pink pajamas and white t-shirt. I looked at the peaceful look on her face and felt nauseous. I swam to the surface, kicking with my legs as fiercely as I could. When I broke the surface, I breathed in relief to feel the air in my lungs. No air in my lungs felt unnatural. I swam to shore and crawled out of the ocean waves. I felt defeated.
    I tried to be realistic about the whole situation. It was my first time being a soul-sucking demon. It was my first kick at the can