Devils Roses 01 - Cursed

feeding off of a person. I made a rookie mistake. I could do better. I could find a cancer ward or criminals and easily put them out of their misery. I knew that if I’d been warned or trained by someone with compassion and care, it wouldn’t have happened. I looked into the forest where I knew Dorian was, and decided I would try my luck alone for a while. I knew I couldn’t stay in my hometown, as no doubt I would be a danger to anyone I knew.
    I started to run along the beach and dove into the water again. I knew Portland was my only hope. I shut myself off. I shut off my feelings for Shane. I had no feelings for Blake, not any I was willing to act upon. I knew my sister and my dad would be desperately sad without me, but at least they would be alive. I shut off my feelings for the girl on the ocean floor, who didn’t deserve the death she received.
    I swam until I reached the harbor. I never really tired, but I got winded and bored after a while.
    When I got there, I crawled out breathlessly and dragged my sopping cold body into an alley. I pressed my back against the wall and waited for things to make sense—no money, no food, no shelter. No friends. No Shane. No Aleks. I shook my head and tried to reason with myself. Tried to make it make sense.
    I noticed a scent on the cool breeze. I lifted my nose and took a deep inhale. The smell was ecstasy—like a donut shop or patisserie. My mouth watered. I opened my eyes and realized what I was seeing. It was a couple walking hand in hand. I was smelling them. They smelled like dessert. I turned and ran into the alley. I wouldn’t take another life. No matter what. I dragged myself into a cardboard box and closed my eyes.

Chapter Seventeen
    How much sin can a sin eater eat in a city full of sin?

    One Year Later - Portland, Oregon

    My palms grew warm. They itched with a burning I could not soothe. I wiped them on my pants back and forth. I dragged them and waited for the release. It was the same every time. I still had no patience, like I’d had when I was alive. I had lost my ability to sit still. My trigger finger itched, so to speak. I had no trigger that the human eye could see. I was near the alley I had been in, when she had rescued me. I shivered and tried not to think about how bad it had all gotten, how hungry I had been. I shook my head and snapped back to the visual I had on the mark.
    I had been out for coffee when I saw him the first time. I knew he would work to fulfill my hunger, once I cleared him with the Roses. He was raging when he had stormed past the coffee shop window, where I had been sitting. I followed him cautiously. I knew one small move could send me into attack mode. I was still coping with the hunger. The training helped, but the hunger was something that I would battle my whole life.
    I watched him from the building across the street, through the window. Even though I wanted to eat him, like I did all of them, I always looked for something I could save. It was always the same thing. I had to see there was no other option. It was also Roses protocol.
    Secretly, I hated taking their lives, even though I knew their families would be free of the monster. Most of the time, the monster was someone they had unwittingly married or been born to. That was the part I tried to remember, when I saw the family members crying. They were always devastated by the death, even if their life had been bad.
    I heard a shout from the apartment. I looked up to see him pacing in the window. He screamed at motionless beings that I could not see within the tiny window. I could see him trembling. He was about to commit a crime and break Rose law. I sighed, thankful he was the one. I was getting too hungry and would end up attacking someone who didn’t deserve it, not the way Peter did.
    I thumbed the platinum ring on my right hand mindlessly watching, always watching. The Roses had saved me from myself, in a moment of weakness and sorrow. I wished I could save Peter, but he had taken it too far, his kind always did. The Fae didn’t work well with humans. Humans were too weak.
    His hands flew back and forth, expressing his rage. He stopped, hovering a moment over something or someone. No one moved beyond him and no words were spoken besides his.
    He was a monster, trying desperately to control his change, surrounded by humans. Weak and breakable humans. I literally watched as his mind lost its control. It was like a twig breaking from a branch, it made the