Definitely Dead

handed it to me, indicating with a hand gesture that we should proceed down the hall. She’d turned to the people who’d come in behind us, a Were couple in their sixties, before we’d even exited the room.
    “What are you up to?” Quinn asked, in the quietest possible voice, as we moved along the corridor.
    “Do we have to pass through any more security?” I asked, in a voice just as hushed.
    “I don’t know. I don’t see any up ahead.”
    “I have to do something,” I said. “Excuse me, while I find the nearest ladies’ room.” I tried to tell him, with my eyes, and with the pressure of my hand on his arm, that in a few minutes everything would be all right, and I sincerely hoped that was the truth. Quinn was clearly not happy with me, but he waited outside the ladies’ room (God knows what that had been when the building was a monastery) while I ducked into one of the stalls and made a few adjustments. When I came out, I’d tossed the tampon container into the little bin in the stall, and one of my wrists had been rebandaged. My purse was a little heavier.
    The door at the end of the corridor led into the very large room that had been the monks’ refectory. Though the room was still walled with stone and large pillars supported the roof, three on the left and three on the right, the rest of the decor was considerably different now. The middle of the room was cleared for dancing, and the floor was wooden. There was a dais for musicians close to the refreshments table, and another dais at the opposite end of the room for the royalty.
    Around the sides of the room were chairs in conversational groupings. The whole room was decorated in white and blue, the colors of Louisiana. One of the walls had mu rals depicting scenes from around the state: a swamp scene, which made me shudder; a Bourbon Street montage; a field being plowed and lumber being cut; and a fisherman hoisting up a net in the Gulf Coast. These were all scenes featuring humans, I thought, and wondered what the thinking was behind that. Then I turned to look at the wall surrounding the doorway I’d just entered, and I saw the vampire side of Louisiana life: a group of happy vampires with fiddles under their chins, playing away; a vampire police officer patrolling the French Quarter; a vampire guide leading tourists through one of the Cities of the Dead. No vamps snacking on humans, no vamps drinking anything, I noticed. This was a statement in public relations. I wondered if it really fooled anyone. All you had to do was sit down at a supper table with vampires, and you’d be reminded how different they were, all right.
    Well, this wasn’t what I’d come to do. I looked around for the queen, and I finally saw her standing by her husband. She was wearing a long-sleeved orange silk dress, and she looked fabulous. Long sleeves maybe seemed a little strange in the warm evening, but vampires didn’t notice such things. Peter Threadgill was wearing a tux, and he looked equally impressive. Jade Flower was standing behind him, sword strapped to her back even though she was wearing a red sequined dress (in which, by the way, she looked awful). Andre, also fully armed, was at his station behind the queen. Sigebert and Wybert couldn’t be far off. I spotted them on either side of a door that I assumed led to the queen’s private apartments. The two vampires looked acutely uncomfortable in their tuxes; it was like watching bears who’d been made to wear shoes.
    Bill was in the room. I caught a glimpse of him in the far corner, in the opposite direction from the queen, and I shivered with loathing.
    “You have too many secrets,” Quinn complained, following the direction of my gaze.
    “I’ll be glad to tell you a few of ’em, real soon,” I promised, and we joined the tail end of the reception line. “When we reach the royals, you go ahead of me. While I’m talking to the queen, you distract the king, okay? Then I will tell you everything.”
    We reached to Mr. Cataliades first. I guess he was sort of the queen’s secretary of state. Or maybe attorney general would be more appropriate?
    “Good to see you again, Mr. Cataliades,” I said, in my most correct social tone. “I’ve got a surprise for you,” I added.
    “You may have to save it,” he said with a kind of stiff cordiality. “The queen is about to have the first dance with her new king. And we’re all so looking forward to seeing the present the king gave her.”
    I