Thud!

stick on the cobbles. “Peace comes with a rather large bill, Captain.”
    “And a few dividends, sir,” Carrot said.
    They looked up at the circle-and-bar symbol over the door of the mine, just above the yellow-and-black rope used by the Watch to warn off intruders.
    “The mine falls to us by default?” said Vetinari.
    “Apparently, sir. I believe the term is ‘eminent domain.’”
    “Ah, yes. That means ‘theft by the government,’” said Vetinari.
    “But the grags bought the freehold, sir. They’re hardly going to contest it now.”
    “Quite. And the dwarfs really can make watertight tunnels?”
    “Oh, yes. The trick is almost as old as mining. Would you care to step inside? I’m afraid the elevator is not working at the moment, though.”
    Lord Vetinari inspected the rails and the little carts the dwarfs had used to shift spoil. He felt the dry walls. He went back upstairs and frowned as a one-ton slab of iron came through the wall, whirled past his face, passed through the opposite wall, and buried itself in the street outside.
    “And was that supposed to happen?” he said, brushing plaster dust off his robe.
    An excited voice behind him shouted: “The torque! It’s impossible! Amazing!”
    A figure climbed through the wall, holding something in one hand. It rushed up to Captain Carrot, vibrating with excitement.
    “It spins once every six point nine seconds, but the torque is immense! It broke the clamp! What powers it?”
    “No one seems to know,” said Carrot. “In Uberwald—”
    “Excuse me, what is this about?” said Lord Vetinari, holding out a hand imperiously.
    The man glanced at him and then turned to Carrot.
    “Who’s this?” he said.
    “Lord Vetinari, Ruler of the City , may I present Mr. Pony of the Artificers’ Guild?” said Carrot quickly. “Please let his lordship see the Axle, Mr. Pony.”
    “Thank you,” said Vetinari. He took the thing, which looked like two cubes, each about six inches on a side, joined together on one face, like a pair of dice joined at the sixes. In relation to the other, one turned—very, very slowly.
    “Oh,” he said flatly. “A mechanism. How nice.”
    “Nice?” said Pony. “Don’t you understand? It won’t stop turning.”
    Carrot and Pony looked expectantly at the Patrician, who said: “And that’s a good thing, is it?”
    Carrot coughed. “Yes, sir. One of these drives one of the biggest mines in Uberwald. All the pumps, the fans that move the air, the trucks that haul the ore, the bellows for the forges, the elevators…everything. Just one of those. It’s another type of Device, like the cubes. We don’t know how they’re made, they’re very rare, but the other three I’ve heard of have not stopped working for hundreds of years. They don’t use fuel, they don’t need anything. They appear to be millions of years old. No one knows what made them. They just turn.”
    “How interesting,” said Vetinari. “Hauling trucks? Underground, you say?”
    “Oh, yes,” said Carrot. “Even with miners in.”
    “I shall give this some thought,” said Vetinari, avoiding Mr. Pony’s outstretched hand. “And what could we make it do in this city?”
    He and Carrot turned questioning faces to Mr. Pony, who shrugged and said: “Everything?”

P link! went a drop of water onto the head of the very, very late King Bloodaxe.
    “How long are we going to have to do this, Sarge?” said Nobby as they watched the line of visitors shuffle past the dead kings.
    “Mister Vimes has sent for another squad from home,” said Fred Colon, shifting from one foot to the other. It seemed quite warm when you first came into the cave, but after a while, the clamminess could get a man down. He reflected that Nobby wasn’t affected by this, being blessed by Nature with natural clammy.
    “It’s starting to give me the creeps, Sarge,” said Nobby, indicating the kings. “If that hand moves, I’m going to scream.”
    “Think of it as Being There, Nobby.”
    “I’ve always been somewhere, Sarge.”
    “Yeah, but when they comes to write the history books, they’ll—” Fred Colon paused for thought. He had to admit, they probably wouldn’t mention him and Nobby. “Well, your Tawneee will be proud of you, anyway.”
    “I think that’s not to be, Sarge,” said Nobby sadly. “She’s a nice girl, but I think I’m goin’ to have to let her down lightly.”
    “Surely not!”
    “’Fraid so, Sarge. She cooked me dinner the other