The Rock Star Trilogy 01 - Jaded

whisper in her ear. “No matter what, I will always be here for you.”
    “ I know. I'm sorry that I let you down.”
    “ You didn't,” I promise her. “Just please, don't keep anything from me anymore. You are the most important person in the world to me. I am going to help you. No judgment.”
    “ Thank you.”

    I call Stephan and let him know that Bridgett isn't feeling well. The truth is, we both need some sister time. I got a hold of a therapist who agreed to see us later on. I couldn't be there for my sister those two years she was sick before, but I can be there for her now. She is my priority.

Monday, September 28
    7:32 am
    I like you way too much.

    I go to school on Monday. I hate leaving Bridgett, but the therapist assured us it was important to keep up normal routines. She hasn't thrown up since Saturday morning, which isn't long, I know, but I think she is going to be ok. On Saturday, Bridgett talked to the therapist alone for about an hour, and then we both talked to her. Since then, I really feel like she's been feeling better. I know it's a long road of recovery, but I have complete faith in her.
    Stephan rides with me to school, as usual.
    “ Is Bridgett feeling better?” He sounds concerned, and it feels good to know that he cares about my family.
    I nod. “I think so. We just needed some sister bonding time.”
    “ So, I was wondering...” he rubs his hands on his jeans like he's nervous. “When you said that about going back to LA after you graduate...”
    I cut him off. “When I say that, I mean I'm not done with music. It's my dream, and it's about time I start living my dream my way.”
    He smiles, but I can tell it's forced. “Good. I'm glad you're doing this. You deserve it.”
    “ Stephan, what is it you're not saying?” I push.
    He clears his throat. “Well, I know this is all... premature... But let's say that we are still dating in nine months when you leave, what would happen to us?”
    I bite my lip to keep from smiling. It's true that it is premature, thinking like this. I know it's dangerous, but I can't help but be thrilled about Stephan thinking about a future with me.
    “ Well, I guess I would just have to take you with me,” I say, staring at the road ahead. I'm scared to look at him... Mostly scared to see what his reaction is.
    “ Of course, this is all hypothetical.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “You could definitely dump me before then.”
    “ Or you could dump me.”
    “ Not going to happen. You would definitely be the one doing the dumping,” he argues.
    I shake my head. “No way. I'm never dumping you.” Ok, maybe it's a little cheesy and cliché, but I can't help but be thrilled by our conversation.
    “ Then I guess we are stuck together.”
    “ Of course,” I say. “Unless you cheat on me. Then, I'm totally dumping you. No hard feelings or anything, I just don't like cheaters.”
    He clears his throat. “I would never cheat on you. I've seen how bad cheating hurts people first hand, and I would never do that to you.”
    And now I feel bad. “Crap, Stephan, I'm sorry. I wasn't even thinking. I didn't mean to say that.”
    “ It's ok,” he responds. “I just needed you to know that I would never do that. I like you way too much.”
    There is no hiding my smile. “I like you a lot, too.”

    12:07 pm
    Feelings and crap

    Stephan and I sit where Ethan and I used to sit. Now Ethan sits with the “ populars ”. I see why Mona was so hard against Ethan and Stephan now, but I still don't like her. She really blames the wrong person for what her mother and Stephan's father did. In her own twisted way, she thinks the whole thing is Stephan's fault. Maybe blaming somebody other than her mother helps her cope.
    I laugh at my thoughts. Geez, I go to one therapy session and I think I'm an expert on feelings and crap.
    Stephan and I are in the middle of a conversation about what makes a car run when we are disrupted. Thank God. I didn't think I could handle one more minute of listening about how a fuel filter works.
    “ Can I talk to you?” Mona asks.
    Ok, so it's not exactly somebody I want to talk to... But anything to get me out of this dreadful conversation about cars.
    “ Sure,” I say, then turn to Stephan. “Give me just a minute.”
    I follow Mona out of the cafeteria and into the hallway. She stops abruptly, then turns to me. She looks at the ground for a few seconds, and fidgets with her hands.
    “ I just...” she pauses.