The Long Hard Road Out of Hell

hesitated. I didn’t know if I could get away with it. I could have been destroyed. I remember when we first played the record for Jimmy [Iovine, head of Interscope Records], he told us, “This is the best rock record that’s been written in the past ten years. But I don’t want to see you step on the wrong toes because then nobody will ever hear it. Anybody can sell 700,000 records. You can do that out of your garage.” So I told him that the important thing to me was that we’ve written good songs that people will remember and sing. We’ve infiltrated the mainstream in a way that they don’t want, and I think that is a work of art in itself.

    Â Â Â Â Â  SEPTEMBER 1997, BRAZIL
    I opened a fortune cookie and it said, “When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed.” Well, I’ve gotten everything that I wanted. We’re the biggest band in America. We’ve got platinum albums. We got the Rolling Stone cover that Dr. Hook never managed to get. But I’ve managed to destroy and lose everything that I’ve loved along the way. The whole world now looks at me the way I looked at my grandfather. I hope they like what they see, because now I finally do.

    I feel one part Elvis Presley, one part Jack Warner and one part Reverend Ernest Angley, and this disturbs me. In making my failures my success, I’ve become what I was once afraid of.
    Â Â Â Â Â  SEPTEMBER 17, 1997, MEXICO CITY
    Tonight’s show was a disaster, a relief, a fiasco, a Mexican standoff and a drug-crazed freak-out. Twiggy slashed his hand open on the very last song of this very last show while smashing his bass. The whole thing was every bit of rock and roll and every bit of everything we represented. I feel like we’ve grown in the past year, and I’m glad that it’s over. I can see already that America, Nothing Records, our friends and the media have perceived this to be the peak of our career. Unfortunately for them it’s just the beginning.

    F IG . 561.—The superficial branches of the internal pudendal artery.

A CKNOWLEDGMENTS
    T HANKS TO A LEUSHA , A LYSSA , A NDREW AND S UZIE ,
R EVEREND E RNEST A NGLEY , F IONA A PPLE , T OM A RNOLD , D ANIEL A SH ,
A SIA , B IG D ARLA , B LANCHE B ARTON , S EAN B EAVAN , M RS . B URDICK ,
P AUL C AMBRIA , C ARL , C ASEY , C HAD , C AROLYN C OLE , C OREY ,
B ILLY C ORGAN , K EITH C OST , J OHN C ROWELL AND HIS BROTHER , D AVE ,
F REDDY D E M ANN , A ARON D ILKS , D IMEBAG D ARRELL , E DEN ,
C OREY F ELDMAN , R OBIN F INCK , F LAVOR F LAV , F RANKIE , F ROG ,
M ICHELLE G ILL , J OHN G LAZER , S HERMAN H ELMSLEY , J IMMY I OVINE ,
J AY A ND T IM , J OHN J ACOBAS , J ENNA J AMESON , J EANINE , J EBEDIAH ,
J ENNIFER , J ESSICKA , J ONATHAN , J ACK K EARNIE , K ELLY’S C ORNHOLE ,
B ILL K ENNEDY , R ICHARD K ENT , M ARY B ETH K ROGER ,
X ERXES S ATAN L AVEY , L ENNY , M R . L IFTO , L ISA , T RACI L ORDS , L OUISE ,
C OURTNEY L OVE , D AVID L YNCH , L YNN , J OHN A. M ALM J R ., M ARIE ,
M ARK , R OSE M C G OWAN , M ISSI , M ISTRESS B ARBARA , N ANCY ,
D AVE N AVARRO , C ONAN O’B RIEN , D AVE O GILVIE , G UY O SEARY ,
P AUL A ND R ICHARD , S AUCY P ETERSON , R OBERT P IERCE , T INA P OTTS ,
M s . P RICE , R ACHELLE , T RENT R EZNOR , J OAN R IVERS , J IM R OSE ,
R ICK R UBIN’S B EARD , N EIL R UBLE , S HANA , S IOUX Z., B OB S LADE ,
THE S LASHERS , S NOOP D OGGY D OGG , H OWARD S TERN , T ERESA ,
T ERRI , DJ T IM , J OHN T OVAR , J ILL T UCKER , J ULIA V ALET ,
B ARB AND H UGH W ARNER , B EATRICE AND J ACK W ARNER ,
B RIAN W ARNER , T ONY W IGGINS, THE W YER FAMILY, AND Z EPP .
    S PECIAL THANKS TO D AISY B ERKOWITZ , G INGER F ISH ,
M ADONNA W AYNE G ACY , G IDGET G EIN , S ARA L EE L UCAS , O LIVIA
N EWTON -B UNDY , T WIGGY R AMIREZ , Z SA Z SA S PECK, AND Z IM Z UM .
    A DDITIONAL THANKS TO N OVA B ONZEK , J ENNIE B ODDY ,
J ASON B RODY , T ONY C IULLA , K ELLY C OLEMAN , N INA C ROWLEY AND
THE M ASSACHUSETTS M USIC I NDUSTRY C OALITION , T ODD D ARROW ,
S AM F RANK , S ILVIA G ARCIA , S ARAH L AZIN , P AULA O’K EEFE ,
R AHAV AND K IMBERLY , P ATTY R OMANOWSKI, AND
C ATHERINE T YC FOR PROOFREADING, TRANSCRIBING, RESEARCH
AND/OR LIKING I RON M AIDEN . A ND TO EVERYONE AT
R EGAN B OOKS, PARTICULARLY MY EDITORS ,
J EREMIE R UBY -S TRAUSS AND HIS “GIRLFRIEND .”
    T HIS BOOK IS ALSO DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF
A NTON S ZANDER L A V EY .

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    F IG