My Butterfly

without her?
    I heard something else slam hard against what sounded like a bed of a truck. The loud noise forced my eyes upward again. Then, suddenly, I stopped.
    “Julia.”
    She turned in the plastic chair and then quickly stood up.
    “Wha…,” I started to say.
    I swallowed hard and tried again.
    “Did you forget something?” I asked.
    I wasn’t sure if I had spoken loud enough for her to have heard me or even if I had spoken at all.
    She was quiet for a moment, and she didn’t move. Then, I watched as her eyes fell into mine and stayed there.
    “Yes,” she said, finally.
    My breaths became short, and I tried to swallow again.
    “I forgot how much I love you,” she said.
    I watched the sides of her lips anxiously turn up. Then, suddenly, I noticed that I couldn’t move, and my heart began a violent pounding against the inside of my chest.
    “Could you use a hand?” she asked, taking a quick glance around at the field of plastic chairs before settling her gaze on me again.
    I couldn’t take my eyes off her. And I couldn’t move, and I couldn’t speak. This went on for seconds, maybe even minutes. Then, finally, the words came.
    “You’re beautiful,” I said.
    A faint smile found my broken lips.
    “You’re even more beautiful than in dreams,” I said, feeling my smile widen. “Though, I’m still prayin’ like crazy this isn’t one.”
    Her pretty stare was still on me when I finished. She was smiling, but her eyes were pleading with me to do something. I remembered those eyes.
    I forced my legs to come alive again, and I took a couple of steps in her direction, keeping my gaze locked in hers for my journey to her place in the field. And eventually, I planted my feet directly in front of her. But instead of taking her into my arms and squeezing her close—like I wanted so much to do—I stopped. I had one more thing to do that just couldn’t wait.
    I felt my lips start to turn up as I bent down and touched one knee to the soil and the grass. Then, I reached into my jeans pocket, felt for a small box and pulled it out. I turned the box over in my hand, feeling its soft velvet against my fingertips. There was still a part of me trying to figure out if this were all real. But after a moment, I brought the velvet box to view in between us and lifted it toward her. And with my other hand, I took the lid and slowly pulled it back.
    “Julia Austin Lang,” I began, “I love you more than anything in this world, and I could never imagine spending a second more of my life without you. And I’ve more than learned life’s lesson. I’m not gonna let you get away again.”
    I paused to let my smile grow wider.
    “Jules, will you marry me—some day very soon?”
    I watched as her lips fell open and her hand rushed to cover them. Her green eyes were big and bright, but she made no sound.
    I kept my eyes in hers, feeling every, exaggerated heartbeat in my chest.
    Then, eventually, I spotted a smile behind her delicate fingers. And soon after, a nod followed.
    I lowered my eyelids and then my head.
    “Thank you, God,” I whispered to myself.
    Then, I lifted my eyes to hers again. I was pretty sure a smile was permanently tattooed to my face as I rose to my feet. And once I was standing, I gently took her hand from her lips and slipped the ring onto her pretty ring finger. Then, I brought my forehead to hers and breathed in her perfume and her smile and this moment. And when I couldn’t take not holding her for one more second, I scooped her up into my arms.
    She squealed her little, high-pitched squeal and wrapped her arms around my neck, as I put my lips to her ears.
    “Thank you for coming back to me, Jules,” I whispered.
    A moment went by. Then, I felt her breaths near my ear.
    “I told you I’d come back,” she whispered, as she rested her head gently against my shoulder. “I’m sorry I took so long.”
    ...
    “You ready?” I asked her.
    She flashed me a wide smile.
    “Okay, no turning back now,” I playfully warned her.
    She shook her head back and forth and laughed that pretty laugh of hers.
    “Everyone,” I announced, “this is my wife-to-be.”
    I held Jules’s hand tightly in mine.
    The heads in the tiny bar, which was more crowded than usual, all spun in our direction. I found Jules’s pretty eyes and waited for her to find mine. She did seconds later. I smiled at her with a smile that could only be for her. And as she held her gaze in mine, the corners of her lips