Lost in You

was a super creepy clown circus kind of laugh but still I laughed in his asinine face.  He is unbelievable.  Of all the things he could have said to me.
    “It’s not what I think?  Are you KIDDING ME?!  I think I just saw my husband jamming his dick into some bitch that isn’t his wife!  Don’t even try to explain yourself Deacon, there is NO excuse. There is NOTHING that you can say that could make me not walk out of here right now.”
    I shoved him as hard as I could and made my way to the door.  
    Recovering quickly, Deacon caught up to me, grabbed my arm.  Hard.  The real Deacon was about to make an appearance.  The begging lasted all of thirty seconds.  “Olivia, I said to fucking wait.  You are overreacting like a damn baby.  Stop being a bitch and listen to me.” 
    I looked at him and sneered, “Screw you Deacon.”
    I ripped my arm out of his grasp knowing I would definitely have a bruise above my elbow where his fingers dug into me hard.  I opened the door, ran out, and slammed it behind me …Deacon screaming my name behind me. 
    I started to wait for the elevator, but when I heard my apartment door open behind me, I made a dash for the stairwell door and threw myself through the threshold knowing that he wouldn’t follow me naked down the stairwell.  I ran as fast as I could down two flights of stairs and then stopped, sat down on a stair and started to sob. 
    “Here you go Olivia.  Your copies.”
    I jump slightly, startled by Clive’s return.
    “We will get these papers filed with the court and you can expect to get your divorce decree in the mail in about two weeks.” 
    Clive hands me my copies of the divorce documents in a manila envelope.  Wow.  My four year marriage reduced to a few papers in an envelope. 
    “Thank you Clive.  For everything.”
    “You’re welcome, Olivia, and if you stop and see Jessica on your way out, she will give you your final invoice and make sure she has your forwarding address in our system.  Best of luck to you.”
    I smile, give him a nod and step out of his office and walk to the reception desk to see Jessica. 
    After paying my bill, I take my manila envelope and walk out of the office. 
    The sun hits me in the face; I squint my eyes and start rooting around in my purse looking for my sunglasses.  Popping them onto my face, I just stand there for a moment, take a deep breath and start walking to catch the next train.  Pulling out my cell phone from the front pocket of my purse, I start dialing my best friend Pyper.
    “Hi this is Pyper!  I must be treating my clients like royalty at Shimmer & Soothe Salon and Spa!  You should be jealous that you aren’t here yourself!  Leave me a message and I will get back to you to schedule the appointment I’m sure you want to make!”
    I laugh at my friend’s message as usual and wait for the beep.
    “Hi, it’s me.  Well it’s done.  I just signed the papers and left Clive’s office.  Why do I feel…?”  I stop talking and sigh.  “Honestly, I don’t know how I feel.  Part of me feels empty and part of me wants to host my own divorce party.  With cake.  A cake that has a bride on top holding a knife with the bloody groom in a pool of his own blood at the bottom.  They really make those you know.  Crazy right?  Anyway, give me a call when you can!  I’m headed home to do some more packing.  Kisses!”
    I press end on my phone and shove it back into the front pocket of my purse.  I walk through the subway entrance, scan my link pass, and wait for the T to arrive.  I start reflecting on my life here.  Deacon moved out a while ago.  I had to threaten to call the cops if he didn’t get his ass out. But I am leaving Boston for good.  I still remember coming here seven years ago to attend the journalism program at Boston University.  While it wasn’t my first college choice, I will always look back, and love having lived here.  In fact, once I married Deacon, I always thought I would stay here forever.  Instead, I’m packing up and moving my life back to Chicago, Illinois.  I’m going to move in with Pyper.
    The T finally arrives and I step in looking for a seat.  I take a seat towards the back and sit next to the window.  Leaning my head back on the seat, watching the subway walls as they fly by, Deacon’s handsome face comes to my mind.  Willing to do anything to win me back, he brought me flowers over and over.  He gave me sentimental cards pouring