Ghost Time

news? Foley nodded, like he was overflowingwith compassion, and he goes, We’ve kept it under wraps—can’t have it on the nightly news or going viral on the Internet, can we? Thea, first things, first. If you don’t believe me, what I’m telling you about John Conlon, or Cam, as you call him, why don’t you ask his mother? Ask Karen Conlon who Jeremy Naas is. Jeremy Naas: N-A-A-S. Ask her, he said, folding his hands.
    I thought I was going to be sick. I felt vomit building in my chest, my throat, heading for my mouth, and I turned and ran for the toilet. But I didn’t make it, and puke ran down the side of the toilet, the floor. My mom knocked and came in, but I didn’t turn around. I rested my head on the toilet seat: Let me be. Please, I said, and I could feel her open her mouth, then she changed her mind and quietly close the door, leaving me alone.
    I waited in the bathroom until Foley and the lawyers left. Then I brushed my teeth and told my mom I was going out for some air—I think she knew, because she offered to give me a ride, and I said no. I slipped out the back, and when I got there, Karen was in the backyard, weeding, and I set down my bike, knocking on the gate. Thea! Well, hello, stranger! Come in, she said, taking off her gloves and giving me a kiss. You look like you’ve seen a ghost, she said, and I said, I need to talk to you about something. All right. Can I get you something to drink, Thee? she asked, opening the porch door, while I followed her inside. No, thank you, I said, having a hard time speaking. Please, sit down, she said, looking a the porch swing. Give me just a second to wash my hands and I’ll be right with you. Sure you don’t want some tea, something?
    No, thank you, I said. Well, then, she said, sighing and smiling, walking back out on the porch. She looked tired, pale. What is it? she asked, smiling, sitting down beside me and grabbing my hands. Who is Jeremy Naas? I asked, practically pouncing. It hit her like a slap across the face, and she goes, Who told you that name? I go, Is it true, Karen? Is it true? I said, waiting, and until the very last second, I prayed she would deny it. But then she didn’t say anything, and I kept waiting. I said, Tell me it’s not true, Karen, please, and she almost stuttered, swallowing, and then she almost stuttered, swallowing, and then she said, I am so sorry.
    I walked right past her, opened the screen door, and stormed down the hall, throwing Cam’s bedroom door open, staring at the ceiling—they were gone. The stars were gone, and Karen stood in the kitchen, her mouth wide open. Neat trick, I said, practically hissing, walking back outside, no idea what I was even doing. Karen closed the door behind her and then held up both hands, patting the air, telling me to calm down, and she said, Thea, what are you talking about? Now slow down, and talk to me, she said, and I said, Talk to you? How am I supposed to talk to you when, when I don’t… I don’t even know who you are? And she goes, I know how it must seem, and that was it: I snapped.
    I go, You lied to me? All this time, you’ve been lying to me? She goes, Please, let me explain. I said no and she goes, Thea—he wanted to tell you. And I go, Not enough to tell me—and you—you! Everything I’ve been through, and you knew all along? She goes, He was afraid—we were both afraid, but then he met youand he didn’t want you to know. I said, Tell me the truth. You could at least have had the decency to tell me the truth. What did he do? What did Cam do? Tell me, I said, and she goes, He started a fire—yes, he was very young, and he knew what he was doing, but he had no idea that… It was an accident, she said, looking down, and then I knew. She died, I said. And she nodded. I said, It’s true, then, that a little girl died in that fire? She nodded yes, again, and I reached for my bag and I took out my phone and I texted him, sitting on the swing with Karen, reading my text out loud as I typed: You lied to me. You’re a fucking liar!
    I grabbed my bag, got up, and ran for the door—I bolted, Karen calling after me, Thea, please wait? I couldn’t get the door open, because it’s a little sticky, and because my hands were shaking so badly. Karen walked up, behind me and she said, Thea, I am so sorry, and I turned around and I looked at her, and I said, Sorry? You’re sorry? How can you be sorry when I don’t even know your real name, Karen? And then I walked