First meetings in the Enderverse

with you longer, but I’ve got calls to make before everybody leaves for home this afternoon. I’m an accountant for the living-that’s my day job.”
    “An accountant?” asked Andrew. “I know you’re busy, but can I ask you about a piece of accounting software? A talking head, a woman comes up on the screen, she calls herself Jane?”
    “Never heard of it, but the universe is a big place and there’s no way I can keep up with software I don’t use myself. Sorry!” And with that the man was gone.

    ***

    Andrew did a netsearch on the name Jane with the delimiters investment, finance, accounting, and tax. There were seven hits, but they all pointed to a writer on the planet Albion who had written a book on interplanetary estate planning a hundred years before. Possibly the Jane in the software package was named for her. Or not. But it brought Andrew no closer to getting the software. Five minutes after concluding his search, however, the familiar head popped up on the display of his computer. “Good morning, Andrew,” she said. “Oops. It’s early evening, isn’t it? So hard to keep track of local time on all these worlds.”
    “What are you doing here?” asked Andrew. “I tried to find you, but I didn’t know the name of the software.”
    “Did you? This is just a preprogrammed follow-up visit, in case you changed your mind. If you want I can uninstall myself from your computer, or I can do a partial or full install, depending on what you want.”
    “How much does an installation cost?”
    “You can afford me,” said Jane. “I’m cheap and you’re rich.”
    Andrew wasn’t sure he liked the style of this simulated personality. “All I want is a simple answer,”
    said Andrew. “How much does it cost to install you?”
    “I gave you the answer,” said Jane. “I’m an ongoing installation. The fee is contingent on your financial status and how much I accomplish for you. If you install me just to help with taxes, you are charged one-tenth of one percent of the amount I save for you.”
    “What if I tell you to pay more than what you think the minimum payment should be.”
    “Then I save less for you, and I cost less. No hidden charges. No best-case fakery. But you’ll be missing a bet if you only install me for taxes. There’s so much money here that you’ll spend your whole life managing it, unless you turn it over to me.”
    “That’s the part I don’t care for,” said Andrew. “Who is ‘you’?”
    “Me. Jane. The software installed on your computer. Oh, I see, you’re worried about whether I’m linked to some central database that will know too much about your finances! No, my installation on your computer will not cause any information about you to go to any other location. There’ll be no room full of software engineers trying to figure out ways to get their hands on your fortune. Instead, you’ll have the equivalent of a full-time stockbroker, tax attorney, and investment analyst handling your money for you. Ask for an accounting at any time and it will be in front of you, instantaneously. Whatever you want to purchase, just let me know and I’ll find you the best price at a convenient location, pay for it, and have it delivered wherever you want. If you do a full installation, including the scheduler and research assistant, I can be your constant companion.”
    Andrew thought of having this woman talking to him day in and day out, and he shook his head. “No thanks.”
    “Why? Is my voice too chirpy for you?” Jane said. Then, in a lower register, with some breathiness added, she continued: “I can change my voice to whatever comfort level you prefer.” Her head suddenly changed to that of a man. In a baritone voice with just the slightest hint of effeminacy, he said, “Or I can be a man, with varying degrees of manliness.” The face changed again, to more rugged features, and the voice was downright beery. “This is the bear-hunter version, in case you have doubts about your manhood and need to overcompensate.”
    Andrew laughed in spite of himself. Who programmed this thing? The humor, the ease with languagethese were way above even the best software he had seen. Artificial intelligence was still a wishful thought-no matter how good the sim was, you always knew within moments that you were dealing with a program. But this sim was so much better-so much more like a pleasant companion-that he might have bought it just to see how deep the program went,