Feet of Clay

mad…wild and wonderful.”
    Isaac Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine
    “Pratchett has now moved beyond the limits of humorous fantasy and should be recognized as one of the more significant contemporary English language satirists.”
    Publishers Weekly
    “A master of laugh-out-loud fiction…Pratchett’s ‘Monty Python’-like plots are almost impossible to describe.”
    Chicago Tribune
    “Pratchett’s humor is international, satirical, devious, knowing, irreverent, unsparing, and, above all, funny.”
    Kirkus Reviews
    “Pratchett demonstrates just how great the distance is between one-or-two-joke writers and the comic masters whose work will be read into the next century.”
    Locus
    “If Terry Pratchett is not yet an institution, he should be.”
    Fantasy & Science Fiction

B OOKS BY T ERRY P RATCHETT
    The Carpet People
    The Dark Side of the Sun
    Strata • Truckers
    Diggers • Wings
    Only You Can Save Mankind
    Johnny and the Dead • Johnny and the Bomb
    The Unadulterated Cat (with Gray Jollife)
    Good Omens (with Neil Gaiman)
    T HE D ISCWORLD ® S ERIES :
    Going Postal • Monstrous Regiment • Night Watch
    The Last Hero • The Truth • Thief of Time
    The Fifth Elephant • Carpe Jugulum
    The Last Continent • Jingo
    Hogfather • Feet of Clay • Maskerade
    Interesting Times • Soul Music • Men at Arms
    Lords and Ladies • Small Gods
    Witches Abroad • Reaper Man
    Moving Pictures • Eric (with Josh Kirby)
    Guards! Guards! • Pyramids
    Wyrd Sisters • Sourcery • Mort • Equal Rites
    The Light Fantastic • The Color of Magic
    The Art of Discworld (with Paul Kidby)
    Mort: A Discworld Big Comic (with Graham Higgins)
    The Streets of Ankh-Morpork (with Stephen Briggs)
    The Discworld Companion (with Stephen Briggs)
    The Discworld Mapp (with Stephen Briggs)
    The Pratchett Portfolio (with Paul Kidby)

Copyright
    This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
    FEET OF CLAY . Copyright © 1996 by Terry Pratchett. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
    Mobipocket Reader June 2007 ISBN 978-0-06-146415-7
    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1



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* He subsequently got dead-drunk and was shanghaied aboard a merchantman bound for strange and foreign parts, where he met lots of young ladies who didn’t wear many clothes. He eventually died from stepping on a tiger. A good deed goes around the world.

† That is to say, the sort you can use to give something three extra legs and then blow it up.

* Town hall

** Because Ankh-Morpork doesn’t have a town hall.

† Yeast bowl

* Commander Vimes, on the other hand, was all for giving criminals a short, sharp shock. It really depended on how tightly they could be tied to the lightning rod.

* Constable Visit was an Omnian, whose country’s traditional approach to evangelism was to put unbelievers to torture and the sword. Things had become a lot more civilized these days but Omnians still had a strenuous and indefatigable approach to spreading the Word, and had merely changed the nature of the weapons. Constable Visit spent his days off in company with his co-religionist