Devils Roses 01 - Cursed

He looked much more like a student than a teacher, having only just graduated with his master's. It earned him hottie teacher status, which he seemed oblivious to.
    He was handsome, but I only noticed it after my sister pointed it out to me. Something about his face didn’t do it for me. He was not my type. My type hadn’t changed in ten years. The only problem with my type, was his current status as my sister's boyfriend. I shook my thoughts back to my schoolwork.
    It was easy to do in chem. For me chemistry was simple. The reaction was caused by the chemicals or elements involved. No surprises and no guessing. I loved the reaction of chemicals and the predictability that came with knowing the elements. It was a controlled environment. Blake loved chem too, but it was because Mr. Mac was his hero, he held three degrees and a master’s by the time he was twenty-four.
    On the way home from school, I took a detour instead of the bus or a ride with Satan, a.k.a. Alise. I felt a small sense of serenity as I saw the spot and smiled. I always imagined my mom waited for me there. The wind blew my long blonde hair up—like a tornado it sucked it up into the air. I ran to her spot and sat down on the roadside. I tried not to shiver as the cold concrete froze my legs, the moment I sat.
    I had gathered the new dandelions of the year in my pocket on the way and made myself a crown, as I sat there talking.
    “ So then Mr. Mac said that I could just do my own project, since my partner wasn’t there, again. God, I don’t know what’s up with her, but it’s been like four classes and she’s still sick. Maybe it’s the plague. I like Mr. Mac, he treats us like people, not students. He is an actual chemist too, not a gym teacher filling in a spot.”
    I finished my crown and placed it on my head, as a tear rolled down my cheek. “There, just like you made.” I pushed back my pain and smiled; my mom didn’t need to see me sad like that all the time.
    Just as I needed it to be, it was there—the warm wind.
    My skin lifted with a shiver as I closed my eyes and let the wind surround me. I knew people made fun of the fact, I would go and sit on the side of the road, beside the tree where I’d made the mark.
    The fact my mom hadn’t died anywhere near the tree, made me the town weirdo. In truth though, someone had died there. I had, which was why I haunted it.
    Twenty-eight hundred people populated the little seaside hamlet of a town. In Port Mackenzie everyone noticed when Don James's quiet daughter sat on the side of the road, talking to a tree.
    I looked at the mark on the tree and felt a slight bit of shame for hurting it that way. There, in the torn bark and skin of the tree, my blood made a cross. I had pulled and ripped the bark in a panic, cutting my hands up, so I would never lose the spot.
    I was surprised that the blood hadn’t washed away in the winter rains. The tree held onto enough color, that I could always find it. The bloodstain was old and brown, but if you knew where to look, you could see the faint outline of the cross. Perhaps the tree knew, I needed it. I smiled at the mark, grateful someone understood me.
    I sat there staring at the mark, realizing I had come a long way in the months since her death. I knew soon I would be normal again. I could feel it. My heart would be healed soon.
    Blake was part to blame with his funny sarcastic ways, which cheered me up, even when I resisted. I smiled thinking about him distractedly. I wondered if we would ever become lovers or if we would just get married. I knew we were perfect for each other. It just made sense. If truth be told, all that stood in the way of us being together was our inexperience with the opposite sex.
    I had wanted a boyfriend a while before my mom's accident. I wanted something romantic like an Austen novel. After her death, I wasn’t certain I could face the feelings I had without my mother to advise me.
    I betrayed my pact not to cry at her spot, as tears dripped down my cheeks. I wasn’t sad for my loss but for the peace and fun I'd been experiencing.
    “ Mom, I can’t fight it much longer. I can’t stay sad forever. I’m trying to honor you and I know this isn’t what you would have wanted, but I don’t know how else to see you.” I heaved. “I see Alise so happy and normal and I hate her. If I’m not sad, do I miss you the same amount?”
    I let the tears fall. I stared down at the cement, trying to see the design my