Agatha Raisin and the Christmas Crumble

it up. My missus is a dab hand at . . .”
    “Can we get on with the interview?” asked Wilkes coldly.
    Pratt interrupted again when Agatha began to describe Len’s lecherous advances.
    “Now, then,” he said with a grin, “you ladies of a certain age often imagine us fellows are after you when they’re just being kind.”
    Agatha’s face flamed. “Look here, you pillock,” she snarled, “it was not my imagination.”
    “I’ll have you for insulting a police officer,” yelled Pratt.
    “Let’s get on with it,” said Wilkes wearily.
    The night dragged on as Agatha was taken over and over her statement. Then a sealed bowl of rice was brought in on a tray. It was guessed to be the same weight as the pudding. Agatha had to demonstrate over and over again how the accident had happened. Pratt acted the part of Len. To Agatha’s delight, she finally managed to tilt the tray so that the bowl of rice came down on Pratt’s head. The cling film covering split and Pratt swore dreadfully as rice cascaded down over him. At last, she was told not to leave the country and to hold herself in readiness for further questioning.
    Agatha found a miserable Roy waiting for her in reception. “The press are waiting for us outside,” he said. “For once in my life I don’t feel like facing them.”
    “We’ll use the back door,” said Agatha, “and go home and pack a couple of suitcases and find a hotel. My cottage will soon be crawling with forensic people.”

    The next morning, Simon drove around the village collecting the other five of Agatha’s guests in his minibus. The night before he had arranged to take all of them along to police headquarters.
    He collected Matilda first so that she could sit beside him. When everyone was in the bus, he said, “I am sure we are all agreed that Agatha upset that pudding over Len’s head, right?”
    “That’s not how it happened,” said Freda shrilly. “She did it deliberately. She killed him and so I shall tell them.”
    “They won’t believe you,” said Harry Dunster. “They’ll see you for the jealous old bag you are.”
    “How dare you!” shrieked Freda. “I’ll have that woman arrested for murder if it’s the last thing I do.”
    “Could well be,” said Jake Turnbull.
    “It’s no use threatening me,” said Freda. “I shall tell the truth.”
    Freda was the only one not to have been moved by Agatha’s generosity. Matilda was shyly attracted to Simon and thought that if it hadn’t been for Agatha she would never have got to know him. Harry Dunster and Jake Turn-bull thought of previous lonely Christmases and the fact that Simon had said that now they had got to know each other, he could arrange a few trips and parties.

    A week later, Bill Wong called on Agatha. “Got the handcuffs?” asked Agatha gloomily.
    “No, you’re in the clear. You did not suffocate the man with pudding. The results of the autopsy are in. He died of a combination of alcohol, a massive dose of Viagra, and his liver was hobnailed and his heart in dangerously bad shape. But you have a problem.”
    “What’s that?”
    “Despite the testimony of our other guests that it was an accident, Freda Pinch is not only sticking to her guns, she is threatening to take out a civil suit against you, according to what she told Wilkes. Mind you, I think she is just threatening. It would cost her a hell of a lot of money, she’s not even a relative, and, as the police have proved you were not guilty, she wouldn’t get very far. Have you heard anything from lawyers?”
    “Not a thing. Damn that bloody woman. I could kill her.”
    “I didn’t hear that. But that pudding! Agatha, most of the ingredients were in uncooked lumps along with two dead flies. Stick to the micro wave in future.”
    “There must have been something wrong with the recipe.”
    “The infallible Sarah? Sorry. Nowhere in that recipe does she suggest adding uncooked, unchopped fruit and nuts, not to mention dead flies and insecticide.”
    “What’ll I do about Freda?” asked Agatha.
    “Just ignore it. She won’t get anywhere.”
    After he had left, Agatha received a visit from Simon and Matilda. “I took Matilda to that restaurant in Broadway,” said Simon. “We had a marvellous meal. We wondered how you were getting on.”
    Agatha told them about Freda and the civil suit. “Oh, dear,” said Simon. “Two days ago, I took everyone into Cheltenham for the day. I included Freda in the invitation. She was