A Job From Hell (Ancient Legends #1)

that with the heat, blood and a fair share of other
body fluids, and you have a deadly combination.
    I wrapped an arm around his neck, my sleeve
barely touching his sweat-slicked skin. “Listen, mate. Here’s the deal. I just
got my nails done and I don’t need them getting chipped when I practice one of
these procedures from this little, old book.” I held up my Torture Techniques For Dummies booklet, covering the Dummies part
so he wouldn’t think I was a complete beginner. “Do you think you could scream
and moan a bit, you know, like you’re in real pain?” I whispered.
    He just stared at me, open-mouthed. I
groaned inwardly. Was he dense or something?
    “ Yo ,” I hissed. “Either
you do as I say, or the Big Boss’s coming back. Trust me, you don’t want that.”
    Dad’s voice rang through the chamber,
making me jump. “Less talking. More screaming!”
    I groaned. Seriously, no pressure there. “Just
warming up, Dad.”
    “Looks like you’re the one that needs
convincing,” he roared. “Where’s your Louis Vuitton handbag?”
    “No, don’t do anything rash, like cut my
credit cards in half.” I licked my finger, and then leafed through the pages.
My finger landed on Impalement: A sharp pole is pushed through a victim’s body
while alive. Who in their right mind would ever practice something that
barbaric, not to mention disgusting?
    “Please yell,” I whispered. The guy barely
acknowledged me, so I held up the page to him, praying he could read. His eyes
skimmed the large fonts, pupils widening. I could see I was finally getting
somewhere.
    “Oh, that looks painful.” I sighed. “I’ve
got goose bumps just thinking about a nasty procedure like that. If you don’t
start acting, I’m going to call my dad to show you how this little number
works.”
    It took a few seconds for the message to
kick in, but the guy finally let out an ear-piercing cry.
    “Okay, cut it.” I shot a last glance over
my shoulder and turned back to him. “It’s kind of late and I need to get to
work. What do you say, you scream one more time, then fall into a nice coma?
Doesn’t have to be a deep one. They’ll let you sleep for a few hours until I
get back.”
    He nodded.
    I counted to three and slipped out because
I couldn’t take it any longer. Dad thought one day I’d inherit the family
business aka Hell, but I had other plans. I loved my customer service career.
Soon, I’d have my own company and we’d give Amazon a run for their money.

Chapter 2 – Distros

 
    The torture chamber was situated on the
third plane, Acerbus . Hell had seven different
dimensions, each coming with its own perks of physical agony and mental misery.
By the time I reached our mansion on the first level to change for work, I’d be
covered in grime, sweat and what else not. Before I wasted any more time, I
took out my high-tech phone, and beamed myself onto the second upper plane, Distros , where the heat was still bearable. Usually, I
tried to avoid it because Distros is one spooky
place, but I had no choice than to travel through only one dimension at a time
since I hadn’t yet come up with the right programming on my phone.
    Proud of myself, I peered at the tiny
electronic item, which I invented in a rare moment of utter ingenuity. It
looked like any other cell phone, albeit a very chic one in a sleek ‘n silver
way. But, based on its functionalities, it resembled an electronic genie.
However, since I had designed it not long ago and it hadn’t passed its beta
stage, it was more unstable than Windows
Vista . But I figured it’d have to do until I got my fallen angel powers for
my eighteenth birthday, which was only a few weeks away. Until then, I might be
immortal, meaning not much could really kill me, but absolutely useless without
my phone since I had no superhuman powers, apart from being able to stop the
time—but only once a year. Dad’s rules sucked.
    The wide plane was covered in a thick layer
of grey dust blocking out the sun. A strong wind whirled the decaying leaves on
the ground, blowing them toward the dilapidated cottages in the distance. Many
deceased people lived in Distros , souls who would be
accepted into Heaven once they sat out a certain amount of time for their petty
crimes, such as lacking faith and having the wrong priorities in life. I knew
for sure none of Dad’s demon employees were around because Distros was home to our temporary visitors that didn’t require torture for their