The Light Fantastic

said Twoflower, as they began their cautious descent.
    “Yes, it probably does it good to get out and meet people,” said Rincewind, “and now I think it’d do me good to go and order a couple of drinks.”
    “Good idea,” said Twoflower. “I’ll have a couple of drinks too.”

    It was nearly noon when Twoflower awoke. He couldn’t remember why he was in a hayloft, or why he was wearing someone else’s coat, but he did wake up with one idea right in the forefront of his mind.
    He decided it was vitally important to tell Rincewind about it.
    He fell out of the hay and landed on the Luggage.
    “Oh, you’re here, are you?” he said. “I hope you’re ashamed of yourself.”
    The Luggage looked bewildered.
    “Anyway, I want to comb my hair. Open up,” said Twoflower.
    The Luggage obligingly flipped its lid. Twoflower rooted around among the bags and boxes inside until he found a comb and mirror and repaired some of the damage of the night. Then he looked hard at the Luggage.
    “I suppose you wouldn’t like to tell me what you’ve done with the Octavo?”
    The Luggage’s expression could only be described as wooden.
    “All right. Come on, then.”
    Twoflower stepped out into the sunlight, which was slightly too bright for his current tastes, and wandered aimlessly along the street. Everything seemed fresh and new, even the smells, but there didn’t seem to be many people up yet. It had been a long night.
    He found Rincewind at the foot of the Tower of Art, supervising a team of workmen who had rigged up a gantry of sorts on the roof and were lowering the stone wizards to the ground. He seemed to be assisted by a monkey, but Twoflower was in no mood to be surprised at anything.
    “Will they be able to be turned back?” he said.
    Rincewind looked around. “What? Oh, it’s you. No, probably not. I’m afraid they dropped poor old Wert, anyway. Five hundred feet onto cobbles.”
    “Will you be able to do anything about that?”
    “Make a nice rockery.” Rincewind turned and waved at the workmen.
    “You’re very cheerful,” said Twoflower, a shade reproachfully. “Didn’t you go to bed?”
    “Funny thing, I couldn’t sleep,” said Rincewind. “I came out for a breath of fresh air, and no one seemed to have any idea what to do, so I just sort of got people together,” he indicated the librarian, who tried to hold his hand, “and started organizing things. Nice day, isn’t it? Air like wine.”
    “Rincewind, I’ve decided that—”
    “You know, I think I might re-enroll,” said Rincewind cheerfully. “I think I could really make a go of things this time. I can really see myself getting to grips with magic and graduating really well. They do say if it’s summa cum laude, then the living is easy—”
    “Good, because—”
    “There’s plenty of room at the top, too, now all the big boys will be doing doorstop duty, and—”
    “I’m going home.”
    “—a sharp lad with a bit of experience of the world could—what?”
    “Oook?”
    “I said I’m going home,” repeated Twoflower, making polite little attempts to shake off the librarian, who was trying to pick lice off him.
    “What home?” said Rincewind, astonished.
    “Home home. My home. Where I live,” Twoflower explained sheepishly. “Back across the sea. You know. Where I came from. Will you please stop doing that?”
    “Oh.”
    “Oook?”
    There was a pause. Then Twoflower said, “You see, last night it occurred to me, I thought, well, the thing is, all this traveling and seeing things is fine but there’s also a lot of fun to be had from having been. You know, sticking all your pictures in a book and remembering things.”
    “There is?”
    “Oook?”
    “Oh, yes. The important thing about having lots of things to remember is that you’ve got to go somewhere afterward where you can remember them, you see? You’ve got to stop. You haven’t really been anywhere until you’ve got back home. I think that’s what I mean.”
    Rincewind ran the sentence across his mind again. It didn’t seem any better second time around.
    “Oh,” he said again. “Well, good. If that’s the way you look at it. When are you going, then?”
    “Today, I think. There’s bound to be a ship going part of the way.”
    “I expect so,” said Rincewind awkwardly. He looked at his feet. He looked at the sky. He cleared his throat.
    “We’ve been through some times together, eh?” said Twoflower, nudging him in the