Relentless

the backseat. Or like from the backseat to the front seat. Or like into a drawer or to the top of a cabinet. But she can’t go more than maybe ten feet, fifteen feet, maybe twenty. She travels point to point instantaneously, but they’re just little trips.”
    Penny and I were both silent for a while, but there must have been an unusual quality about my silence, because she said, “Cubby?”
    “Huh?”
    “What is it?”
    “I think she can teleport farther than twenty feet.”
    “Where do you think she went? Did she bring a souvenir back from Hong Kong?”
    Remembering how the pursuing Explorer had abruptly gone outof control, as if the driver had been attacked by a swarm of bees, I said, “She ported from the sedan to the Explorer that was pursuing us. Those guys are chasing us, gaining, and suddenly a dog that was never in the vehicle is all over them, maybe in the driver’s face, then on his back, then in the other guy’s lap, growling and snarling and biting—”
    “Lassie would never bite anyone,” Penny said.
    “Never,” Milo agreed.
    “She might have bitten these guys. They looked like people who needed to be bitten.”
    Penny said, “So did she realize the thugs in the Explorer were a threat to us, and she basically took them out—is that what you’re telling me? Is that really what you’re telling me?”
    “Dogs,” Milo said, “have been very protective of their human companions for thousands of years.”
    Lassie growled in agreement.

    After a long period of thoughtful silence, with Penny still behind the wheel of the Hummer, I said, “Milo?”
    “Yeah, Dad.”
    “The saltshakers.”
    “What saltshakers?”
    “The ones you gave us in the cellar of the Landulf house.”
    “Oh, those aren’t saltshakers anymore.”
    Penny said, “I’m not sure I’m prepared for this right now. We killed two men this morning, we’ve got Waxx chained to the floor in back, we’ve got a teleporting dog, so it’s like, you know, enough is enough for one day.”
    Quite reasonably, I explained my position to her: “To avoid any unpleasant surprises, I’d just like to know if the saltshakers will send me to Mars or turn me into a wolf, or throw me into a parallel dimensionwhere dinosaurs still rule the earth. I’m not asking the hour of my death or whether I’m going to spend the rest of my life in a people-of-the-red-arms prison, I don’t want information that would make living unbearable. I just want to know what the saltshakers will do.”
    Penny Boom said, “Let it go.”
    “It’s defensive knowledge. It’s like, what if you were walking around with a butane lighter in your pocket, and you didn’t know what it was, you thought maybe it was a breath freshener, so you stuck it in your mouth to get a squirt of mint, and you clicked it, and you set your tongue on fire.”
    “Let it go.”
    “Milo,” I said.
    “Yeah, Dad.”
    “Will the saltshaker send me to Mars?”
    “It’s not a saltshaker anymore.”
    “Whatever it is, will it send me to Mars?”
    “No, that’s not possible.”
    “Will it turn me into a wolf?”
    “That’s kind of a silly question.”
    “But will it turn me into a wolf?”
    “Of course not.”
    “Will it throw me into a parallel dimension where dinosaurs still rule the earth?”
    “I don’t mean to be rude, Dad, but that’s stupid. Won’t happen even with the pepper shakers.”
    “You’ve got pepper shakers, too?”
    “Let it go,” said Penny.
    “Let’s stay with the saltshakers, Spooky.”
    “That’s all we’ve got,” he said, “except they aren’t saltshakers anymore, like I keep saying.”
    “What are they supposed to do?”
    “You mean when they were saltshakers or now?”
    “Now. What will they do now?”
    “This thing that’s like nothing anyone would think could happen. You have to experience it to understand.”
    Penny said, “Cubby, if you don’t let it go, I’m going to start screaming.”
    “You won’t start screaming,” I said.
    “Yes, I will, and I’ll want to stop, I really will want to stop, but I won’t be able to stop, I’ll scream insane things like ‘butane breath freshener,’ all day, all night, and then what are you going to do with me, are you going to take me back to Titus Springs and ask Frank the hardware guy’s geeky nephew to lock me in his basement?”
    Suddenly it seemed to me that I had been hectoring Milo and Penny much as Hud Jacklight often hectored me.
    Mortified, I said, “You’re