Love Songs from a Shallow Grave

“I sneakily held it back. I thought this would be an appropriate occasion for you to open it.”
    Siri looked at the envelope. It was stamped ‘Ministry of Information. DHC. He looked up and smiled at his friends. It was an amazingly fifth-birthday-party smile for such an old man. Dtui squealed with excitement. They all raised their thumbs at the proprietor who gave them his trademark salute. Everyone around them cheered at the sight. Siri tried to be nonchalant as he opened the envelope but it was apparently made of some linoleum-like material so he ended up ripping it apart with his teeth. He withdrew the single sheet of paper and looked around before reading aloud.
    “For the attention of Dr Siri Paiboun. Reference to consideration of your nomination for the status of National Hero, Level Two. The committee of the Department of Hero Creation has reviewed your credentials and we are most impressed with your many years of medical dedication to the well-being of our comrades.”
    He smiled again.
    “Yey for dedication,” Dtui shouted.
    “We admire your forty-seven-year continuous membership of the Communist Party,” he continued, “and your willingness to take on the role of national coroner at short notice. However, the committee was less than impressed…was less than impressed with your poor attitude towards authority and your constant blatant disregard for rules and regulations. We feel that younger generations would be inclined to ape such behaviour if we condoned it by approving your elevation to national Hero status. The DHC therefore regrets to inform you that your nomination has been rejected on the grounds that you, Dr Siri Paiboun, are not an appropriate role model.
    We thank you for cooperating with us on this matter and wish you the very best of health and a long and productive future. For your information, we are enclosing two documents. One is a review of the amazing advancements in collectivism in the People’s Democratic Republic of Laos. The other is a leaflet which outlines the characteristics of New Socialist Man and his role in furthering the development of the republic. We hope they will prove useful to you and help you to contribute more to the advancement of your country. With respect, Minister of Information.”
    EOF