Deaths Excellent Vacation

grown-up would want to admit to being confounded by a horny college boy, and it was even worse for a three- hundred-year-old. Then again, it seemed to me that a college boy in need of sexual relief was pretty darned close to supernatural.
    At any rate, Dave didn’t stop the interrogation until Randy was drained dry.
    Not literally. I don’t think Dave would have had Randy for dinner if I hadn’t been there, but . . . Well, he was a pirate. At any rate, I was there and he restricted himself to glamouring Randy enough to make him forget about the wolf running loose in the park and to convince him that confession was good for the soul. Then he called the police.
    In short order, the cops came, investigated, and left with Randy.
    Afterward Pirate Dave showed me the captain’s quarters, and we had fireworks that night after all.
    Unsurprisingly, I slept late the next day, and since I was due to check out of my cabin and head back home, most of the day was spent packing and distributing the accumulation of fruit baskets and cookie trays to the hotel staff. Then I loaded up my car before heading back to Adventure Cove.
    The park was closed, temporarily according to the sign on the ticket booth, but I had my suspicions. I found a shady spot to park in, and sat and thought about the situation for the next few hours. As soon as it was dark, Pirate Dave came to me, wearing blue jeans, of all things.
    “Ahoy,” I said as I got out of the car.
    “Hi,” he said almost shyly. “I suppose you’ll be on your way out of town.”
    “That was the plan. What’s the word?”
    “Randy told the police everything.”
    “And the park?”
    He shrugged. “The newspaper printed the whole story, which I hope will reassure people, but there’s been a lot of damage to our reputation. People don’t want to come to an unsafe amusement park. I thought I’d close for a week, and then decide what to do.” He looked over at the concrete pirate ship. “Maybe it’s time for me to weigh anchor.”
    “Bullshit!” I said. “You are not going to let some phony pirate chase you off your own ship. I mean, away from your home. Sure, you’ve had some bad publicity, but you can turn this around to your favor. Go ahead and stay closed for a week, but spend the time cleaning, freshening up the rides, brainstorming new attractions. I’ve got some ideas, too.” I pulled out the back of the envelope on which I’d been making notes. “I know this season is going to be mostly a bust, but what about staying open later in the year? A lot of parks do Halloween events—pirates are a natural for that. Not to mention vampires.”
    “Pirate Dave’s Haunted Cove?”
    “Why not?”
    “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”
    “I told you I’m in marketing. I’ve never worked with an amusement park before, but I could learn.”
    “Are you asking me for a job?”
    “Permission to come aboard?”
    “What about the packs? Will they let you work with a vampire?”
    “What I do is none of their business. This whole pack thing just doesn’t do it for me. I don’t even like fruit baskets!”
    I could tell Dave was having trouble following my reasoning, but either he caught on or decided he didn’t care, because he switched from conversation to kissing.
    After a wonderful few minutes, he said, “And tonight?”
    “I thought we could go out for a bite. And for dessert, we can come back here for a bite.”
    “Prepare to be boarded,” he said with the patented Pirate Dave gleam in his eye.
    A week later, the park reopened, bright and shiny, and thanks to some hard work on my part and a little glamour on Dave’s, we had a good-sized crowd waiting to appreciate our efforts. We hadn’t had time for much more than cosmetic changes, but the employees were enthusiastic again, which made all the difference in the world.
    The one big change we had made was the whole Sea Queen ritual. Pirate Dave still picked a Sea Queen during the parade, but now his selections were little girls, so naturally he’d stopped the suggestive banter. And if any of the Queens got nervous about being near the handsome pirate, they had Salty the Sea Dog right there to distract them. I still couldn’t really speak while in canine form, but I could manage to bark appropriately: “Arr-fff!”

COPYRIGHTS
    “Introduction” copyright © 2010 by Charlaine Harris, Inc., and Toni L. P. Kelner.
    “Two Blondes” copyright © 2010 by Charlaine Harris, Inc.
    “The Boys Go