The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

Sardines, who raised his hat. Then he looked at the mayor, who nodded. He looked at everyone again, his lips moving as he tried to sort this out.
    'You're all talking?' he said, at last.
    'Yes, sir,' said Nourishing.
    'So… who's doing the listening?' he said.
    'We're getting round to that,' said Maurice.
    Mr Schlummer glared at him. 'Are you a cat?' he demanded.
    'Yes, sir,' said Maurice.
    Mr Schlummer slowly digested this point too. 'I thought we used to kill rats?' he said, as if he wasn't quite certain any more.
    'Yes, but, you see, sir, this is the future,' said Maurice.
    'Is it?' said Mr Schlummer. 'Really? I always wondered when it was going to happen. Oh, well. Cats talk now, too? Well done! Got to move with the, mm, the… things that move, obviously. Wake me up when they bring the, mm, tea in, will you, puss?'
    'Er… it's not allowed to call cats "puss" if you're over ten years old, sir,' said Nourishing.
    'Clause 19b,' said Maurice, firmly. '"No-one is to call cats by silly names unless they intend to give them an immediate meal". That's my clause,' he added, proudly.
    'Really?' said Mr Schlummer. 'My word, the future is strange. Still, I daresay everything needed sorting out…'
    He settled back in his chair, and after a while began to snore.
    Around him the arguments started again, and kept going. A lot of people talked. Some people listened. Occasionally, they agreed… and moved on… and argued. But the piles of paper on the table grew bigger, and looked more and more official.
    Darktan forced himself to wake up again, and realized that someone was watching him. At the other end of the table, the mayor was giving him a long, thoughtful stare.
    As he watched, the man leaned back and said something to a clerk, who nodded and walked around the table, past the arguing people, until he reached Darktan.
    He leaned down. 'Can… you… un-der-stand… me?' he said, pronouncing each word very carefully.
    'Yes… be-cause… I'm… not… stu-pid,' said Darktan.
    'Oh, er… the mayor wonders if he can see you in his private office,' said the clerk. 'The door over there. I could help you down, if you like.'
    'I could bite your finger, if you like,' said Darktan. The mayor was already walking away from the table.
    Darktan slid down and followed him. No-one paid any attention to either of them.
    The mayor waited until Darktan's tail was out of the way and carefully shut the door.
    The room was small and untidy. Paper occupied most flat surfaces. Bookcases filled several of the walls; extra books and more paper were stuffed in between the tops of the books and any space in the shelves.
    The mayor, moving with exaggerated delicacy, went and sat in a big, rather tatty swivel chair, and looked down at Darktan. 'I'm going to get this wrong,' he said. 'I thought we should have a… a little talk. Can I pick you up? I mean, it'd be easier to talk to you if you were on my desk…'
    'No,' said Darktan. 'And it'd be easier to talk to you if you lay flat on the floor.' He sighed. He was too tired for games. 'If you put your hand flat on the floor I'll stand on it and you can raise it up to the height of the desk,' he said, 'but if you try anything nasty I'll bite your thumb off.'
    The mayor lifted him up, with extreme caution. Darktan hopped off into the mass of papers, empty teacups and old pens that covered the battered leather top, and stood looking up at the embarrassed man.
    'Er… do you have to do much paperwork in your job?' said the mayor.
    'Peaches writes things down,' said Darktan, bluntly.
    'That's the little female rat that coughs before she speaks, isn't it?' said the mayor.
    'That's right.'
    'She's very… definite, isn't she?' said the mayor, and
    Darktan could see that he was sweating. 'She's rather frightening some of the councillors, ha ha.'
    'Ha ha,' said Darktan.
    The mayor looked miserable. He seemed to be searching for something to say. 'You are, er, settling in well?' he said.
    'I spent part of last night fighting a dog in a rat pit, and then I think I was stuck in a rat trap for a while,' said Darktan, in a voice like ice. 'And then there was a bit of a war. Apart from that, I can't complain.'
    The mayor gave him a worried look. For the first time he could remember, Darktan felt sorry for a human. The stupid-looking kid had been different. The mayor seemed to be as tired as Darktan felt.
    'Look,' he said, 'I think it might work, if that's what you want to ask me.'
    The mayor brightened up. 'You