Talker

bite of ice cream and reflected that he had no
    idea what his roommate was talking about, and he said so.
    Somewhere in the middle of Tate’s explanation of who “pitched”
    and who “caught” in man-on-man anal sex, Virginia came down the
    hallway, completely dressed.
    Brian looked up from his ice cream and offered her a bite, and
    she shook her head with an incredibly sad smile, then bent over the
    back of the couch and kissed his cheek.
    “I’l bring back your shirts tomorrow,” she whispered, and he
    looked at her, surprised.
    “We really are breaking up?” he asked from the couch, very
    confused. Virginia just patted his cheek lightly, gave Tate a long-
    suffering look, and said, “We’l talk tomorrow.”
    Brian had spent the rest of the night consoling Tate, only a
    little curious about what had just happened. By morning, he knew
    what a “fight for the bottom” meant. By the afternoon, he and
    Virginia had talked and cried and yel ed and fought and hugged,
    and he final y realized why he should care who “pitched” and who
    “caught” when two men were naked and panting and in the mood to
    have sex.

    Talker | Amy Lane
    22

    VIRG INIA. That was Brian’s first thought as he picked himself up off
    the floor and wobbled into his room. He put his running shoes away
    and changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. That was it. Plain
    and faded jeans. G ray T-shirt, laundered so soft it was thin in
    places. Brian liked things plain and simple. Tate was the most
    complicated thing in his life. E ven Virginia was simple—but he was
    positive that Virginia could help him out with this.
    Why not? Virginia had been the one to help him out of the
    closet—why couldn’t she help him with Talker?
    Her sister answered when he called her house. Apparently
    Virginia couldn’t help him with Tate because she was away for the
    weekend with her new boyfriend—her straight boyfriend, Alex, who
    looked a lot like Brian except he wouldn’t leave her naked in bed for
    his distraught male roommate for a mil ion dollars and change.
    O h crap. He closed his eyes and tried to think—he wasn’t very
    good at it. Tate was the one who could think of things. Tate told
    Brian which days to ask off, so they could see movie premieres
    together on a matinee price. He helped Brian with his papers—
    E nglish or History, Talker was there, asking Brian a thousand
    questions until Brian could write the paper and not feel like a
    complete idiot. Tate figured out the budget and clipped free
    coupons, so they could occasional y afford pizza, and so Brian
    could buy something besides Top Ramen and potatoes at the
    grocery store.
    Tate’s light-speed-twitch-o-matic brain could talk a stranger to
    spattering come across the back wal of a public toilet in a crowded
    club, and Brian’s fly-in-the-oatmeal gray matter couldn’t find a way
    to say “I’m gay and I love you,” and make it stick.
    Wonderful. F ucking wonderful.
    Talker | Amy Lane
    23

    He took a deep breath and sat on his bed and tried to think
    about Virginia—she was always so kind and had so much common
    sense. Parts of their discussion the night after Tate had his heart
    broken (the first time) had been priceless.

    Talker | Amy Lane
    24

    P a rt IV
    The Pain of Almost Touching

    “VIRG INIA… come on….”
    Virginia had rolled her eyes. “You think I’m full of shit?”
    “I just care about the guy… he doesn’t have anyone else.”
    Virginia sighed and rubbed her red eyes with the heel of her
    hand. They were both tired: Virginia apparently because she had
    been up thinking about him, and Brian because he had been up
    talking to Tate.
    “Brian, do you have any porn?” she asked at last, seemingly at
    random.
    He flushed. “No.” He didn’t have any porn. It just seemed…
    odd… no matter how personal his computer was supposed to be.
    “O kay—here. G ive me five minutes and your computer—I
    want you to see a couple of things.”
    Was there anything more embarrassing than having your
    soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend pulling up porn on your computer? Brian
    wasn’t al owed to watch what she chose, but when he came back in
    the room, she said, “Let’s call this an experiment in heterosexuality,
    babe. Here.” She clicked “play” on a smal video, and then stood up
    and moved back to let Brian sit at the desk and watch….
    Talker | Amy Lane
    25

    Watch two women, licking each other’s pink and swollen vulva
    with joy, gusto, and a lot of