Reverence

his forehead to mine.
    "We won't get a moment's peace until we get back to the states," I told him. "And then still not. Beck is going to drive me crazy for at least a week. And then Gran is going to start the wedding stuff, I just know it."
    Caleb nodded and silently told me I was right.
    "Sorry," Jen said again, but plopped back on the bed with no intention of leaving. Bish joined her, closer this time.
    He whispered, "I'm not sorry." Then he kissed her once, pulling her to his chest and they lay still as if to go to sleep.
    "Want to go back to the roof?" Caleb suggested in a low voice that held promise.
    "Eew," Jen groaned. "Get out before you start the sexy voice, little brother."
    " Our room," he retorted and smiled at me. It was his I'm happy no matter what we're doing smile.
    This was the smile he saved just for me, for when no one was looking.
    I smiled back and started to lead him back to our roof when Haddock met us at the door.
    "Maggie. Caleb," he addressed and fidgeted. I of course couldn’t hear his thoughts so I had no idea what he wanted. "I was wondering if we could talk…before you all leave."
    "About what," I said gently. I wasn't angry with Haddock and I didn't want him to think he owed me anything. I closed the door so Bish wouldn’t hear him. He didn't know about this, after all.
    But Haddock said, "When you leave tomorrow to go back to Tennessee, I'm coming with you. To your town, I mean."
    "What?" I blurted loudly. "What do you mean?"
    He stood a little taller. "I may not have been your father this whole time, and I know you have Jim. That's great, but I lost you once and didn't even know I had you to begin with. I have no intention of doing that again."
    I closed my eyes and tried to breathe normally. So, Dad and Fiona, and me and Caleb, and Bish and Jen, now Haddock.
    One big happy family.
    "Whatever," I said politely and tried to smile. "We'll see what we can work out, but I'm not telling my father…um, Jim. You know what I mean. I'm not telling him about all this."
    "Understood," he said and smiled. "See you at dinner."
    I remembered the text in my pocket. I pulled my cell out and tried not to shoot daggers at Haddock's back as he walked away. Caleb was muttering something about Haddock being a trouble maker, but stopped as soon as he felt my thoughts slam into him.
    I reread the text message five times while Caleb held on to me. When he pressed my face into his neck and said, "Ah, baby. I'm so sorry," I knew the text from Beck's mom was real.
    Beck & Ralph were in an car accident in the mountains. I tried to call u several times. They fnd the car, but no one was inside. They suspect they went looking for help &… They called off the search today. We're having the funerals on Sat. Pls, come home.
    I felt my knees begin to shake.
    Caleb leaned back and took my face in his hands. "We'll leave, right now." I could feel him pushing all of his comfort and love into me, into my skin with his touch. I couldn't remember a time I was ever so grateful for him than in that moment. I felt my lip quiver and bit into it to stop it. He looked at my lip and back up to my eyes with a pained expression. He could do nothing to fix this situation for me and feeling helpless wasn't something Caleb liked very much. Neither did I for that matter. "Maggie…tell me what to do," he said, anguished and swept my cheek with the side of his thumb. "What can I do?"
    I lifted and wrapped my arms around his neck. "You're doing it." I sighed and tried to calm down. "You're doing it."
    When he finally spoke, it was soft and in my ear, as if he were easing me along. "I'll go and tell Dad that we're leaving now. They can come later on. Why don't you…sit with Jen and Bish for a minute, until I get back, ok?"
    I nodded. He took me there in a haze. I'd been so wrapped up in everything going on lately - granted it was huge life altering things, but still - I had barely been able to speak to Beck much lately.
    Rebecca. I never even used her real name, and she never used mine.
    I felt a flood of guilt and remorse and loss. It was then that I felt Caleb's warmth and comfort leave me. I heard his groan and turned to him. Bish had me by my arm and Jen was with him, too. Caleb was trying to leave me there…but he couldn't. He wanted to. He wanted to let me have a minute with my brother in my time of mourning, but Bish would understand. Bish could be the one to tell everyone we were leaving…that I'd lost my friends.
    I needed