Love Is Always Write Volume 4

No, wait, this was good. It brought him back to what mattered.
    He turned off every single burner until he remembered he'd need one for the formula. As he warmed the bottle, he made idiotic hushing sounds that seemed to help him a little but the baby not at all.
    Emily's wriggles and grunts turned into full rage. She and Stefan raged together as they stood waiting for the bottle to warm.
    He was sort of surprised to discover he cried right along with her. Because what wasn't particularly surprising: Phillip taking off. He'd been drifting away for a long time, starting about the time he and Stefan moved in together. Stefan supposed he wasn't the first fool to think a baby could save a relationship.
    "It's not your fault," he told Emily. "He blames you, but don't listen to him."
    He tested the bottle and carried it and her over to the big rocking chair in the corner of the kitchen. She whimpered and her misery seemed like a kick in his guts.
    They settled, and he could feel her relief in her loosening muscles as she hungrily sucked. Maybe Phillip had taken off for a good reason, he thought as Emily's little fingers curled around his thumb. Yeah, and maybe Phillip was an asshole.
    "Can you believe it? He's immature. That's it. All that 'You don't pay attention to me. You want her more than you want us.' Us was supposed to be all three of us. Dickhead," Stefan said.
    Emily stared up as if he was fascinating. Her round green eyes seemed so bright they shone and the way the cowlick of fine hair at the top of her head pointed straight up just about killed him. He sighed with the pleasure of looking at her.
    "Don't take it personally, doll-face. He hated it when I paid too much attention to other people, not just you. Although I have to admit, it's true, baby girl, you do require more care than many people. Hey, now, now, that's absolutely fine, just exactly what you baby-types are supposed to do. Don't feel bad. Yes, you do need lots and lots and lots of attention, you little sweet sweetie-pie." Stefan usually made an effort to talk to her as if she was a person, but damned if he didn't lapse into baby talk.
    She blinked up. She stopped sucking for a second, her mouth went slack as she studied his face, and her lips curled up. Not gas. Not a passing grimace. A real honest-to-god smile, complete with milk dribbling from between toothless gums.
    "Look at you! You are the smartest baby in the whole world! Hey, look at that smile!" Stefan called and then remembered there was no one who'd hear.
    Phillip was gone, and once he took off, he didn't look back. Stefan's heart hurt even while he grinned back at their baby. His baby now. Wow, she had a gorgeous smile.
    There was no one to tell. Except, uh oh—that wasn't true. The guests would show up in an hour. The ceremony would take place soon after that. Too late to put this off, and so the party would go on despite the fact that Phillip had flown away from them.
    Why hadn't the bastard waited until tomorrow? Phillip knew how much work Stefan had put into the christening and how important it was to him…and, okay, that had to be exactly why he hadn't waited.
    Stefan hauled in a deep breath and stared around the kitchen. He'd done a pretty good job of preparing, so there was only the sauce and the cake.
    Yeah, but the cake wasn't going to happen.
    Shit-shit-shit. He should have made it himself. He should never have moved in with Phillip. He should never have pushed to make a family. Maybe if Stefan hadn't found Mellady at the food co-op, Phillip would still be here, but that was a worthless thought. Meeting Mellady meant they got Emily, and getting that baby was the best deal Stefan had ever struck.
    "You're worth it, but what the fu—I mean what are we going to do, Emily?" She sucked at the bottle and absently squeezed his finger. "Okay, yes, honey, you're right. No panicking. No regrets. We'll do this minute by minute here. That's how we'll live life. You're good at that. Any advice?"
    Her eyes began to close as she headed toward milk stupor. No helpful advice from Emily. So he gave the answer for her. " Live in the now, Dad. And at this moment we need that cake. " He considered calling Cat, his ex-roomie, but she would demand to hear all the details about Phillip and then explain one more time that Stefan should have listened to her. He hated it when she was right. And he didn't have time to talk.
    He made a list of everything left to do. He'd put Emily into a front pack to