Nightside 02 - Agents of Light and Darkness

console that sounded suspiciously like Daddy’s home . I was more concerned with the fact that I couldn’t see a door anywhere. Suzie finished her coughing by hacking up what sounded like half a lung, and then spat viciously on the padded floor.
    “I wish Merlin would get over his need for flashy special effects,” she growled. “That smoke always plays hell with my sinuses.”
    “Boys and their toys,” I said. “We have to allow Merlin his little eccentricities. Because if we don’t, he’ll probably turn us into frogs. Collector, what are you doing?”
    “Shutting down some of my internal security systems,” he snapped, without looking round. “I have all kinds of hidden protections here, and I don’t want them all opening fire on you the moment you enter my warehouse. Some of my collection might get damaged. I have to be careful. There are always people trying to break in and steal my precious things. Bastards!”
    “The nerve of some people,” I murmured. “Thinking they could steal some of the many things you’ve stolen.”
    The Collector said nothing, still hunched over his console. I bounced a few times on the padded floor, checking my weight. If we really were somewhere under the Sea of Tranquility on the Moon, someone had gone to a lot of trouble to make things feel like home. The gravity, air, and temperature all seemed perfectly normal. Which suggested that the Collector must have a lot more high-tech hidden away somewhere else. Suzie prowled restlessly back and forth in the confined space, poking at the hanging silks with the barrel of her gun. She jabbed at the padded floor with one boot heel and sniffed loudly.
    “I always said you belonged in a padded cell, Collector.”
    “I believe in being comfortable and indulging myself,” he said, finally turning away from his console. “The padding is there to protect me in the event of sudden, unexpected fluctuations in the artificial gravity. Most of the tech that keeps this place running comes from a possible future I visited, and I have to admit I’m not fully sure how all of it works. I know which buttons to push, but the minute anything goes wrong, I have to fall back on trial and error. Mostly I let my robots run things. You’ll meet them later.”
    “That’s the trouble with looting,” I said. “There’s so rarely enough time to grab the instruction manual as well.”
    “I do not loot! I collect and preserve!”
    “So where is this famous collection?” said Suzie. “Don’t tell me we came all this way to hang around what looks suspiciously like a tart’s boudoir? We are on something of a tight schedule, remember?”
    “Right through here,” said the Collector, a little sullenly. “Follow me.”
    He ducked past a deep puce hanging silk and opened a concealed door. He gestured for Suzie and me to go first, but neither of us was having any of that. We made him go first, then followed quickly on his heels as he led us into the biggest damned warehouse I have ever seen. It seemed to stretch away forever, the walls so far off I couldn’t even see them. There was no ceiling, just a bright unfocussed glow from somewhere up above. And filling this gigantic warehouse; thousands upon thousands of wooden crates, in every size you could think of. They were stacked in towering piles, each marked with a stenciled number. Narrow aisles ran between them. I looked around, trying to get some idea of the size of the collection, but the sheer number of crates numbed my brain. There was nothing on display, nothing to admire or examine. Just crates.
    “This is it ?” said Suzie, wrinkling her nose.
    “Yes it is, and don’t touch anything !” the Collector said severely. “I’ve shut down the hidden guns, but my robots are still programmed to protect my collection from any and all harm. I may have to allow your presence for a while, but that’s as far as I’ll go. You’re here for one object only, and I will get that for you. Luckily I was only just packing it up when Merlin grabbed me. I can see I’m going to have to upgrade my security again.”
    “Somehow, I’d always pictured something more impressive,” said Suzie. “Don’t you ever put any of the good stuff out, so you can play with it?”
    The Collector winced. “It’s much safer this way. I don’t encourage visitors, and for me, owning an item is everything. All right, when I first obtain a piece, I do get a certain satisfaction out of holding it, examining it,