Down Home and Deadly

like a contestant for the police lineup. I was ushered straight to John’s office where Wilma occupied the chair I’d sat in yesterday. Compared to how she looked, I was ready for a beauty contest. Her hair stood out every which way , and her eyes were swollen and bloodshot. Almost as bad as John’s eye, I noticed.
    And she was crying. Not loud wails, just a soft, hopeless weeping. I took the chair next to her and put an arm around her shoulder.
    “Wilma?” My mind went blank. What do you say to a woman whose husband and daughter are both in jail?
    “She came to confess . ” John spoke wryly. “Tell us one more time what happened, Mrs. Pryor.”
    “I was mad at J.D. for breaking up Lisa’s marriage. I followed him to the diner and shot him with Lisa’s gun.” She spoke in a monotone , and her voice was so low I had to strain to hear it.
    “Will you sit with her just a minute, Jenna?” John left the room but returned shortly leading Bob. When Bob realized Wilma was in the office, he stepped forward and took her hands.
    “Honey, what are you doing down here? Didn’t you read the note I left?”
    “Note? No. I didn’t find a note.” She glanced at me and back to him again. “Jenna stopped by and told me where you were. I came to turn myself in.”
    “Turn yourself in for what? What are you talking about?” Bob looked at Wilma as if she had morphed into an alien. Or at least grown an extra head.
    “For murder. I killed J.D.”
    “Wilma,” Bob fairly roared. “You wouldn’t hurt a fly , and we all know it. Don’t we, John?”
    “Do we?” John retorted. “The way I remember it, if someone confesses, I have to take them into custody and question them. Isn’t that the way you heard it, Jenna?”
    How unfair. Leave me out of this. I tried to send telepathic messages to John, but he wasn’t picking up my signal.
    “Isn’t that what Bob said yesterday?”
    He didn’t get to be c hief of p olice by not being persistent, obviously.
    “Wilma couldn’t have done it.” Bob cut John off. “We left the diner and went straight home to watch that ‘bad boys’ cop show.” He turned to look at his wife. “We watch it every Friday night. She was with me the whole night , and I’ll swear to that in any court of law you want to take us.”
    “Is that right, Wilma?” John asked gently.
    “Yes. He’s right, of course.”
    “Well, Bob, congratulations. You’ve given Wilma a good alibi.”
    “Now, honey, go on home and let me handle things . ” Bob gave Wilma a peck on the cheek and guided her to the door.
    “Just a minute, Bob.” John’s voice hardened. “You do realize that when you alibied Wilma, you also alibied yourself?”
    Bob looked stunned. I guess a night in the slammer had diminished his thought processes.
    “Now, why don’t you both go on home and leave the police work to me?” He shook his head as he walked out of the office.
    *****
    Dear Pru,
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. I have always known that he smokes dope now and then, but the other day he offered me a joint. I said no , thanks, and he laughed at me. He said I need to learn to live. I said it was more like learn to die. He hasn’t called me since. Should I call and apologize?
    Who’s t he Dope?
    *****
    Dear Who’s,
    It’s not you. Unless you call and apologize. Then there will be two dopes in this equation. What you should do is thank your lucky stars that he quit calling you. Go out and make friends who have fun without depending on substance abuse.

Chapter Twenty

    It’ll all come out in the wash .

    Funny how I’d thought it would be perfect if Bob would sell me the athletic club. I’d just never imagined that Lisa would have to be arrested for murder in order to make it happen.
    Bob had spent all week trying to get her out of jail , and I’d spent all week trying to get the paperwork through. I felt guilty that I’d succeeded and he hadn’t. But however it had happened, the bank called at four and said my money was ready. I had an in with the lawyer , so after I picked up the check, Alex stayed open late for Bob and me to meet at his office. Together we’d transferred ownership.
    Five minutes before closing time, I pushed the double doors open and stepped into t he Lake View Athletic Club—finally mine.
    “Hey, boss, is this a sign of things to come? Showing up right before we close?” Gail asked jokingly as I walked by where she was gathering her things. “Bob told me.