Doctor at Sea

It might do in an emergency.’
    ‘Wasn’t much cop, as it happened. He chucked the tea at the steward usually.’
    We must think of some way, Easter, to settle this once and for all,’ I said firmly.’ I am prepared to give you ten bob - a quid - if you can think of some legal means of getting the Captain off this ship at the first possible moment.’
    Easter scratched his head.
    ‘Very kind of you, Doctor, I’m sure. Can’t think of anything offhand, like.’
    ‘Well try, man, try. If I can’t think of...’
    I was cut short by a crash outside my cabin, a loud scream, confused shouting, the clatter of running feet.
    ‘What the hell’s happened now?’ I exclaimed.
    My door flew open. Hornbeam was outside. He was grinning like a toothpaste advertisement.
    ‘Quick, Doc!’ he said. ‘Father’s fallen twenty feet down number three hatch!’
    I ran on to the deck. There was a crowd round the edge of the hatch, hurriedly letting down a rope-ladder. I pushed my way through and climbed over the coaming. In a few seconds I found Captain Hogg had solved all our problems for us by fracturing his right femur in three places.

    *

    Easter and I strung up Captain Hogg in splints on his bunk. He was a heavy man, and still not a remarkably cooperative patient. It took us a couple of hours, and we were sweating when we had finished.
    ‘I’ll have that Bos’n logged,’ he muttered, as we arranged the pillows under his head.’ Leaving the covers loose like that... I’ll have the Mate logged, too.’
    ‘Now keep quiet,’ I commanded.’ I forbid you to talk or move. 5
    ‘I will talk as much as I damn well like.’
    ‘I give the orders now. I’m the doctor.’
    ’Well, I’m the Captain.’
    ‘Easter,’ I said. ‘Just tighten up that splint a bit more, will you?’
    ‘Ouch!’ said Captain Hogg.
    ‘Now,’ I continued.’ If you will just stay quiet for a moment I can complete my examination. If you don’t I shall have to consider putting you on a milk diet. Tinned milk, naturally.’
    I pulled out my torch and shone it in his eyes.
    ‘Ah, yes,’ I said, in my most menacing professional tone.’ As I thought. Just take this down, Easter. Pupils do not react to light... loss of sensation to pinprick over the nose...abdominal reflexes absent...A classic picture! We will have to put you ashore tomorrow in the Canaries, of course.’
    ‘You will not. I am not leaving my own ship for you or anybody.’
    ‘Damn it, man! Use your sense. This leg has to be set properly. I can’t do it here. It needs X-rays and so forth. You will have to go into hospital with it. I hear they have some excellent surgeons in Teneriffe.’
    ‘I will not go, Doctor.’
    ‘If we cable the Company and they say so, you’ll have to go.’
    ‘There is no reason why you should cable them. I am still fit to keep my command.’
    ‘It’s a bit late to think of that now. The message has already gone.’
    ‘Gone!’ he jerked his head from the pillow. ’No messages are allowed to leave the ship without my permission.’
    ‘Really, you are a most difficult patient,’ I said gently. ’I will leave Easter to read to you. You will find plenty of literature in the corner, Easter.’
    ‘What, these here?’ Easter asked, picking up one of the Captain’s library.’ Cor! Looks like a bit of all right, eh?’ he settled himself comfortably by the sick-bed.’ Right, sir,’ he began.’ I will start with “I was a White Slave. True Confessions of a French Girl Kidnapped from a Convent and Sent to the Infamous Kasbah of Algiers”. Cor,’ he added to the Captain,’ I know Algiers all right. Funny thing happened to me last time I was there. I’d gone ashore with the Cook, see, and we was looking for a bit of fun, as you might say...’
    I left them, feeling I had inflicted on Captain Hogg sufficient misfortune for the evening.
    Hornbeam was sitting in his cabin writing up the logbook.
    ‘Hello, Doc,’ he said cheerfully.’How’s the. patient, God rot his soul?’
    ‘As well as can be expected, I’m afraid.’
    ‘I’m just putting it in the log. You’ll have to sign down here.’
    ‘When will we get to Teneriffe?’I asked.
    ‘About midday. We should be tied up alongside by one.’
    ‘We’ve got to put Father ashore, you know. I can’t treat a fracture properly at sea. The trouble is he won’t shift. He says he won’t go without instructions from the Company.’
    Hornbeam tossed a cable across to me.
    ‘Sparky just