Love Means No Shame - Andrew Grey

one of the horses?” Geoff was crying as well, but he knew he had to get this out. “What you did showed love, real love, and I don’t know if I’d have had the strength to do what you did for him.”
    “You don’t blame me?”
Geoff shook his head. “No, he died of cancer, pure and simple.
If I need to blame anything, I’ll blame that.” Geoff handed Len a tissue.
    Len wiped his eyes and blew his nose, “The death certificate will list the cause of death as cancer. Doc George said not to worry; he’d take care of it.”

    “I just wish I could have talked to him one more time.” Geoff got up and sat back in the chair.
    “During your last visit, he was still able to do things, to enjoy your company. That’s how you should remember him, as happy and vibrant and loving as he was then. Not what he was at the end.” They both sat back, Geoff letting his mind digest what he’d just been told. Did he blame Len? No, he couldn’t. What he’d done was truly humane. Yes, he missed his dad very much, and probably would for some time to come, but for now, they had to get through the next few days of funeral home visits, funerals, and the obligatory grief buffet that would fill the kitchen with green bean casseroles and God knows what else.
    “Len, didn’t you say we had an appointment at two?”
“Yeah.” Len looked tired, really tired.
“Then we should go.”
16
Love Means … NO SHAME
Len pushed himself to his feet, and they left the house, getting in Len’s truck. Geoff drove while Len rode in silence.
    They spent the better part of the next few hours picking out a casket and working through the details of the funeral. The funeral director was so helpful, guiding them through the process. “Do you have anything special you’d like for the service?”

    “Yes. Cliff had specifically requested that Geoff give the eulogy at the funeral. He didn’t want a minister to do it.” Geoff was floored. Would he be able to give his own father’s eulogy?
    “Is that what you want, young man?” The funeral director seemed surprised as well.
“Yes.” The thought of a stranger or someone who barely knew his dad giving the eulogy at his funeral didn’t seem right. “Yes… I’ll do it.”
    Finally, all the arrangements were done, and they drove back to the house. Geoff was surprised to see a car parked by the house, but Len didn’t seem to be. Inside, Geoff was pleased to see Aunt Mari, his dad’s sister. She hugged him tight and then bustled around the house.
    “Sit down, Mari, you’re making me nervous,” Geoff said.
She plopped herself on the sofa. “Are the arrangements done?”
“Yes. The visitation is tomorrow at six, and the funeral’s on Thursday at four.”
“Did Cliff have a will?”
Len nodded slowly. “Yes, so there’re no issues there. We just need to make it through the next few days.” 17
Andrew Grey
    Geoff stood up, tired of sitting and moping. “Len, come on, let’s go for a ride. I think we need to clear our heads.” He turned to his aunt. “We’ll be back later.”

    “I’ll manage things here.” She would, too. Aunt Mari was special. His dad had two other sisters, who were both primo bitches, and they’d show up eventually, but Mari could handle them just fine.

    Geoff and Len walked together to the barn, seeing majestic heads peeking out from their stalls. Geoff got treats for each of them, patting noses and saying hello. The last stall was the hardest.

    That was where Kirkpatrick, his father’s horse, was stabled. Geoff patted his nose and gave him a couple of carrots. “You want to go for a ride, boy?” Besides his dad, Geoff was the only other person he’d ever allowed on his back.

    “I’ll saddle him for you.” Geoff turned around and saw one of the grooms standing at the door with Kirk’s blanket, saddle, and tack. “Thank you—”
    “Joey,” the young man supplied. He stepped forward after setting the blanket and saddle on the top of the stall and started brushing the horse. “He just loves to be brushed.” Kirk really seemed to move into Joey’s strokes. The groom’s movements were practiced and efficient, and soon the horse was groomed, saddled, and ready for their ride.
    After thanking the young man, Geoff led Kirk out into the yard as Len was leading his own horse out of the barn.

    “Let’s ride to the river,” Len called, mounting his chestnut gelding. Geoff waved his agreement and mounted his father’s jet-black stallion, and they