Behind the Albergue Door: Inspiration Agony Adventure on the Camino de Santiago

remain polite to anybody they might end up sharing a toilet with.
    But can it still be called a “pilgrimage”? Well, that all depends on the individual. Clearly it can when done for the traditionally religious purposes. For others, though, it can still become one, often when they least expect it. It can be a new outlook on life resulting from intense physical exertion, or a long overdue opportunity for isolation and introspection, maybe a change in perspective that leads to personal epiphany, or a renewed faith in human nature, a newly discovered camaraderie of shared purpose, or simply a re-prioritizing of morals and values when it comes to how dirty you’re willing to let your socks get. In any case, in my humble opinion, the only requirement for it to be considered a pilgrimage is for it to feel like a pilgrimage to you. Which is also exactly how I feel about purebred German Shepherds.
    Maybe the most important advice I can pass along from an emotional and motivational standpoint is to remember that things are always changing along the Camino. People, food, weather, health, moods, perspectives, aching body parts. Most people, even though they’ve heard and read about the difficulty and blisters and snorers and all that, still show up with an 80’s montage view of what the Camino will be like. Then they are completely blindsided when they realize how difficult and uncomfortable things can become, and are entirely unprepared to deal with the extreme swings in patience, enthusiasm and confidence that pilgrims routinely experience over the course of a single day, let alone five weeks. I know of people who were on the verge of quitting and heading home one day and talking about returning to hike the Camino Norte the next. The key is to roll with the punches and do your best to never get too high, too low, or too crazily hopped up on sugar and caffeine.
    A famous animated spy once said “I have an El Camino”, to which his stepfather responded, “Oh, so you’re all set. That will hold way more Hispanics and lawn mowers.” Unfortunately, even though that is funny as hell, it doesn’t really apply here. But another famous person once said, “Even if you fall on your face you’re still moving forward”, and that describes the Camino de Santiago to a tee. Although you had better get up pretty soon or else this thing is going to take you forever . Of course, I also like the one that says, “Expect problems and eat them for breakfast”. Mainly because we didn’t have a lot of luck with breakfast on the Camino, and that would have kind of killed two birds with one stone.



Unverified Historical Aside
    The scallop shell has been an iconic symbol of the Camino de Santiago for nearly as long as the pilgrimage has been in existence. As you probably know, when the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage first began, all of Spain was still at the bottom of the ocean. And trekking 800 kilometres underwater was difficult enough already without drowning to death as well. So innovative pilgrims learned to strap the shells over their mouth and nose to allow them to survive underwater. Later, when all the water was removed to fill backyard pools in California, people were at a loss for what to do with the shells that had become such an important part of the Camino experience. Some chose to wear them on top of their head like trendy new yarmulkes, others stuffed them down their pants to use as a protective cup, but most found other, more functional purposes, such as a wine cup, a rice measure or an impromptu chamber pot. Which is why when you see shells hanging on the outside of backpacks today it is usually because they need to air out after a chaotic night of chamber potting.
    It wasn’t long after these developments that pilgrims overwhelmed by all their unstructured time to think on the Camino invented the game of Clam Licker. Despite the factually inaccurate name, it really is jolly good fun. The way it works is that pilgrims watch for backpacks with shells hanging on the outside. Once spotted, their goal is to sneak up on the unsuspecting pilgrim and lick their shell. If they are able to achieve ten continuous seconds of licking, Camino Law dictates that the victim is to empty and clean the victor’s shell each morning, refer to the victor as Master Clam Licker and pre-chew all his or her bocadillos until they have reached a pleasing level of moistness. All three requirements last for a period of one week, or until the